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I was sitting in a sales seminar several months ago and a well known sales trainer got up and started speaking to the audience. He is considered by many to be one of the best salespeople in America, and I was hanging on his every word. The man was describing how he went into meetings in corporations to sell things, and how he always was able to close. His entire strategy was based on what he called “finding the pain.” “You need to find the pain! You need to find the pain!” he kept shouting as he paced back and forth on the stage. By “finding the pain” what he meant was taking what someone thought was okay with their corporation and making it seem awful–as if the company had something horribly wrong with it, which could lead to its imminent collapse. Basically, this entire strategy is based on scaring corporations and other buyers about whatever they are doing at the moment, and convincing them that if they do not change soon disaster will strike.
For example, if this man were trying to convince someone to list a building for sale he might (over the course of a 45-minute presentation) show the owner of the building various flip charts and other information about:
These are just hypothetical examples, but it should give you an idea of how people can be “put in pain” by a salesman. None of this should come as a surprise to you, though. Everywhere around us there are people, businesses and others trying to put us in pain so that we buy what they are selling. This is how the sales world often works.
One of the biggest mistakes that people, corporations and others can make is consistently believing they are not doing enough, which comes as a response to those around them who “put them in pain.” In fact, our entire economic system is based on businesses and people around us putting us in pain:
Most of us continually feel there is a “hole” of sorts, and we simply are not confident that we are good enough, or capable enough. This is the game the world plays with us every second of every day. Because of this hole within ourselves, we allow others to help us when we do not need help, fail to consistently feel content with our lives and accomplishments, and neglect to feel satisfied with who we are. We always feel a sense of lack.
If you have some sort of weakness and believe that you are not okay, an entire world is there to solicit you (for a charge), to help fulfill your sense of lack. In fact, I would argue that our entire economy revolves around people preying on our inherent sense of inadequacy. Personally, I cannot pick up the paper, pick up my phone, turn on the television, read my email, or drive down the street without being solicited and reminded about what I lack:
I am replacing my lawn at the moment and the person doing the work has tried to sell me a lot of things so far. Most recently he tried to tell me I should invest in an outdoor fire pit/barbeque, and he offered to build one for me–for a mere $16,000. He has been leaving catalogues and pictures of outdoor fire pits and barbecues all over the house for the past several days, and every time I look at those glossy photos I admittedly feel like buying. But it’s $16,000.
“Having a new lawn is nice, but it would really be great if you also had an outdoor barbeque pit,” he tells me.
I am extremely motivated in business and daily I receive tons of emails from various people, promising to teach me one skill or another. For a guy like me, these emails are very enticing. I want to respond and sign up for every single one of them. I do not, of course (if I did I would go broke), but I would like to.
All the time I encounter people that want to be my partner in business, and their pitch typically is based on trying to identify the things they feel I may lack. For example, if they believe I am not detail oriented enough they will tell me that they can bring detail skills to the equation, and that I will do better if I enhance marketing side of my operation. If the person believes I am not a good enough promoter, he tells me he can bring promotion skills to the equation. People around me are constantly trying to identify my weaknesses so they can capitalize on them for their own self interest. People are also doing the same with you.
We are all constantly solicited by various advertisers, who convince us that we are simply not enough. I remember when I was in college I refused to smoke pot with my fraternity brothers because I did not think doing so would serve me well. I was so motivated that I did not want to slow down the littlest bit. Our fraternity house was essentially split up into two groups of kids: there were those who smoked pot a lot, and then there were the others, who did not really mess with the stuff. One day I was sitting in a room with a bunch of the guys who liked to smoke pot. Suddenly somebody pulled out a giant bag of grass, and a group of about 10 guys got ready to smoke. I got up to leave.
“We’ll be better friends with you if you get high with us,” one of the guys said as I was walked out of the room.
I have always remembered this instance. These guys were trying to “rope me in” and sell me on the fact that I was not good enough friends with them at the time. They basically were promising that I could be better friends with them if I used drugs with them. They identified a sense of lack within me and tried to exploit it. But I didn’t bite.
In virtually every city in America there are numerous schools. The idea is that we do not know enough and the schools can teach us what we need to know. There are public schools. There are continuing education schools. There are for-profit schools. There are local community college classes about this or that. No matter where you turn, there are people eager to teach you what you do not know. I cannot turn on the television these days without seeing tons of ads for all these various schools. Now there are online schools.
In my grandmother’s last years of life I used to visit her regularly at the nursing home, with my father. In the home they had classes virtually every day of the week about various topics. Incredibly, people who barely had use of their minds and bodies were being wheeled into classes in diapers in wheel chairs where they would sit straining to hear what they would be taught that day. I went to one of the classes once. It was surreal watching classes filled with people at death’s door sitting around learning in a complete stupor. We are continually filling ourselves and others with one form of knowledge or another, right up until death.
Think about what you see when you go to most bookstores. A good portion of the books inside of bookstores are about how to do this or that, be this or that, or become this or that. In fact, most books are a form of self help. When you get to the fiction books, there are myriads of stories that allow us to live exciting, romantic and other sorts of lives in a vicarious way through the lives of others.
I have been doing a lot of studying of the Internet lately and have managed to get myself on numerous spam lists for various Internet training products, seminars and more. Unlike most people, I actually do not mind receiving more forms of spam because I am fascinated by the amount of things I do not know how to do. Every hour I am now assaulted by emails for e-books, courses and all sorts of things that promise to give my companies a #1 ranking on Google.
I remember when I started a recruiting firm, BCG Attorney Search, back in 2000. Because my greatest interest at that time was in recruiting, I decided from the outset that I needed to do everything I could in order to insure I had others address the financial aspects of the business. In my opinion, healthy finances are the most important aspects of any business.
My first employee was a bookkeeper and I ensured that she was given as much support as she could be given from an accountant I had been using for a while. I called the accountant and told him I wanted to ensure that my bookkeeper would do everything according to his satisfaction so it would be easier for him to file taxes when the time came. I also explained that this was not something I wanted to spend a lot of time worrying about. I expected him to provide very good oversight, so I could concentrate my efforts on recruiting.
“Don’t worry, we’re happy to offer any help we can.”
Throughout the day the bookkeeper would call the receptionist of the accounting firm for sometimes an hour or more. Their conversations were always initially about accounting; however, only for the first 1 or 2 minutes of each conversation. Since my bookkeeper had never used a modern accounting program called QuickBooks, she had many very simple questions about which button did this and which button did that on the computer and so forth. After a few phone calls, the conversations turned to things like the results the receptionist was getting from classifieds she was posting on Match.com, the dates she had, favorite recipes and more. I knew this because I was sitting in the same room as the bookkeeper. I should have said something about this but I did not. I figured it was good for the accounting firm and the bookkeeper to be on good terms, and I convinced myself that their exchanging information was a positive thing.
A few months into my bookkeeper’s time with us she brought me a check for something like $5,800 to sign made out to the accounting firm. The bill was itemized and contained over $5,000 in charges for speaking with the receptionist billed out at $125/hour. It was a total scam, of course. The receptionist I am sure did not even make one-tenth of that amount, plus in reality there probably had not been more than a couple of hours spent on actual accounting-related discussions.
I fired the accountant.
The accountant had tried to take advantage of me in response to my having exposed a weakness. And when you show a weakness, people may offer “help,” but they will often go too far in a direction that serves their own interests best. The world exists and functions in many respects on people preying on others’ weaknesses.
It is difficult to admit this and to be so direct about it; however, for several years I believed that there were parts of me that were simply not enough. The mistakes I have made as a result of this belief are some of the worst mistakes I have ever made, and have led to my being taken advantage of many times. One of the biggest mistakes that most of us make is that we think that we are not good enough. By this, I mean that we do not have the skills to accomplish things on our own.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is overcome the sense of lack, which we all experience. You should believe in yourself: you may be able to accomplish all those things about which others would have you believe differently. You do not necessarily need others’ strengths and various offerings in order to complete yourself. You are most likely just fine the way you are. The return expected by others who are “helping” you often far outweighs the value of their contributions. Ultimately you may find this disparity is a great deal larger than the very lack you saw in yourself to begin with.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Life Lessons
Tagged: accomplish things, attorney search, believe in yourself:, career advice, career blog | a harrison barnes, finding the pain, job search, job search industry, legal career, legal jobs, legal profession, new job, sense of lack
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In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
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Companies necessarily seek to employ positive, forward-minded people. A firm’s success depends on their employees, and they seek people who will enhance them rather than merely contribute to the bottom line. People with positive natures, who contribute to a healthy social environment, prove essential to the growth and success of their employers.
In this article Harrison discusses that the meaning you give to things will control the quality of your life. How we feel about ourselves is all due to what we tell ourselves certain things will mean. The meaning you give things is crucial for your career success. You need to choose meanings that make you stronger. You need to ensure you interpret things in a way that serves you and does not hurt you. You need to reach your full potential. Don’t classify yourself as someone who is not fit to succeed at the level at which you’re capable. You need to take charge of your mind to have the career and the life that you deserve.
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Resourcefulness can make you better at everything you do, and separates the truly extraordinary people from the general herd. Do everything within your power to be resourceful in your job search, life, and career to give yourself the best possible chance of achieving your goals, and learn how to employ the resources currently at your disposal for maximum impact.
The most successful people in the world share the common characteristic of sharing, or concentrating on the value that they give back to others rather than on their own growth and profit. Focusing on yourself never leads to long-term success, but leads instead to unhappiness as well as emotional and financial challenges. Your greatest consideration, therefore, should be how you can contribute to others, and how your actions can impact their lives.
The best way to attain your goal is through small, incremental steps on which you can build. Establish a routine, and make sure you are consistently working towards some kind of goal. Start small, and always build upon what you have done before. Most people fail to achieve their goals because they believe everything should happen quickly and at the same time, instead of progressively building upon their past achievements.
Make sure that you are involved in groups that focus on positive things. Your success in life depends on your ability to focus on the outcomes you want, and the focus of the groups with which you associate will in turn shape your own focus. You must endeavor to always choose groups with a positive focus.
Everything you do is a form of preparation for your job interviews, as you are always under some form of scrutiny. The best employees can always spot other good employees, and you cannot “fake it”; merely doing a good job in your work is a form of interview preparation. Always put your all into your work, therefore, even if you do not have long-term plans to remain at your current employment. Switch jobs as infrequently as possible. The time to prepare for a job search is before you even realize that you need to do so.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
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Your ability to help people will determine the extent of your success; the more powerful and effective your help, the greater rewards you will receive. One of the rarest and most profound achievements is to follow through on your goals and create a paradigm-shifting idea. The more revolutionary your work, the more people you will affect and the more memorable of a career you will have.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
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In this article, Harrison advises you to live the lives you wish to have, do the jobs you want to do, and basically live your dreams to your best possible ability. Life is fleeting and no one knows what tomorrow holds. So Harrison puts forward certain questions – when are you going to start living the life you want and when are you going to take charge of your life. The time to have the career you want is right now, not tomorrow, and not later. You need to take charge of your career and life and no one else is going to do it for you. Your entire life and the quality of it is a product of your decisions. You can have, do, or be anything you want. Do not create alibis for making comprises in life. What separates the best and the happiest people is the ability to stop to making excuses and Harrison wants you to be this person.
Anyone can be up when things are going well, but the real challenge comes when things are not. Do not look at problems, which are inevitable for any person or business, in a negative light; think of them instead as challenges, lessons, or opportunities. There is a silver lining to be found in every problem, and finding that silver lining will enable you to grow.
Understanding what you do for a living is very important for your career. You should understand the generality of your specific profession. You and your career are a product. You need to know where and how to market yourself in the best way possible. You need to be relevant and understand the skills you are offering. Being a relevant product is essential for your success. It’s easy to be relevant when you understand what you are doing and what purpose you serve. Being relevant is more than just getting a job. Being relevant also relates to serving the employers with the skills they need. You need to understand your market and what your customers want. This is the way to stay employed, and it is also the means to continual improvement.
Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
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No matter where you are, that is the place you should choose to get started.
It doesn’t get any better at this moment than it already is.
Bernie
Of course at the end of the article, there is a sales pitch.
Very good article. A friend of mine said ” we are all running around trying to be perfect, but if you believe in God, it already is.”
Cathy – no offense, but there is nothing wrong with a sales pitch at the end of the article. All of us are just trying to put food on the table.
Mike
This is an inspiring article. Do you ever allow associations to reprint your articles? I would love to include this in a future issue of our bar association newsletter.
Great post Mr. Barnes! I am one of your freelance writers for Hound.com. I really enjoy reading your daily posts. Thanks so much for sharing.
Great post Mr. Barnes. I am a freelance writer for Hound.com and enjoy reading your daily posts!
I agree, people always prey on others weaknesses instead of manifesting what is designed for them in they’re on spirit. To me, that’s called laziness. You’ve touched on many reasons why I never needed the nwo to hide behind. In the end playing the sting role is epic.