Featured
View Count: 2096
Have you ever looked back at a picture or video of yourself from five, ten or more years ago and asked yourself “What was I thinking back then?” Have you ever looked at something you did several years ago and asked yourself the same exact question?
I have. I have done this a lot.
Sometimes when I look back at the person I was even five years ago, I am amazed at how little I knew at the time, evidenced by the mistakes I made. Here are a few of the qualities that characterize me and my life right now:
Ten years ago?
These are two very different people I have just described. If I look at the guy from ten years ago I would say he is pretty close to the edge, and in a bad way. Where would you think each person is headed? I can tell you that the people who are now still as I was ten years ago, are not doing all that well. I have been lucky enough to change; however, if I had looked at that person from ten years ago, at the time, I am not sure I would have foreseen what an incredible change he could make. I would not have believed in the possibility.
How did I change direction like this? Well, I was fortunate enough to have a friend at the time who sat down with me one day for about 90 minutes and told me exactly where I was heading if I kept on the path that I was on. That was what it took. Ninety minutes, and a hard dose of reality. I knew this person was right, and slowly I started to alter my own course.
I am sure you may have had a similar experience as well. Or haven’t you? When we look back at ourselves several years ago, most of us realize how little we knew at the time, and how many mistakes we made, which we could certainly avoid today. It can be frightening looking back at our past, and the people we were. The pain we might have caused ourselves or others. The opportunities we might have missed. I know this is frightening to me.
Several times throughout my life I have had people tell me what I would be doing and who I would become in ten or twenty years (or more). This was always something that amused me to ponder at the time; but then, I would often realize later in life that the people who told me these things ended up being right. Looking back on this is really odd for me. Many of the people were much older than me, and probably could see from their own experience what others become. And surprisingly some of these people were the same age as me, and could also seemingly predict my future.
Do you see where other people in your life are headed at the moment? And perhaps more important: Do others see where you are headed at the moment? The chances are pretty good they do. If you were to ask them they would probably tell you, although you might have to push the issue a little bit.
Do you think it would help to know where you are headed?
I do. I know it would help you.
When I was in fourth grade, I had a girlfriend named Tina who was a really nice girl. My best friend, Jimmy DeYonker, was dating Tina’s twin sister. None of this amounted to much. We basically would go over to their house and stand around on the front lawn talking about nothing. Sometimes we would sit in the basement on pillows watching television. We did this just about every single day. It was a fun time of my life in many ways because it was so innocent and everything was so new and exciting. The twins lived in a very nice house and it was in a different neighborhood from where I lived.
Jimmy was fascinated with girls and seemed to worship them. He talked about girls all the time and his entire life seemed to revolve around his girlfriend and talking about how beautiful she was. In fact, Jimmy was completely obsessed with female beauty. He always talked about how he wanted to be surrounded by beautiful girls when he grew up. I would say to him: “I bet you’re going to make movies about girls when you get older!”
One day I realized that my girlfriend was a bit too much of a follower, and I decided that she would probably become one of the girls who stood around in the back of the school in tight jeans, with big hair, smoking cigarettes, skipping class, not involved in much and all run down by the time she got into junior high school. God only knew what would happen to her in high school. I do not know why I formed such strong opinions, but I made the mistake of telling Tina this and it really pissed her off. She never spoke to me again.
The thing about her was that in fourth grade Tina was just as clean cut, cute and nice as could be. I just saw something in her, a melancholy and darkness that led me to believe she would follow the wrong crowd when the time came. She did not believe the image I saw of who she would become back them but I was certain she would become that person.
A couple of years later I changed schools and I have literally not seen Jimmy DeYonker in probably over two decades. I have never heard anything about him whatsoever.
But several years later, when I was in high school I heard about my fourth grade girlfriend, Tina, and what I had predicted about her had come true. Nothing horrible had happened, but my original prediction had proven true. Then about 15 years ago I was in a restaurant in Michigan and I happened to be seated at a table right across from Tina. She was sitting there smoking and looking all disheveled, talking with a group of friends. I realized she too had seen me sitting across the way when I heard her say:
“Do you believe I dumped him in fourth grade because he told me I would smoke?” She and her friends started laughing.
I find it fascinating that Tina could not have imagined the person she would have become if she had looked into the future back in fourth grade. Imagine what it would be like to step into a time capsule and look at the person you were back then and who you would become. This could be positive or it could be negative.
Incredibly, I was watching an episode of America’s Next Top Model a few months ago with my wife, and all the girls on the show went to meet a famous fashion photographer. Guess who it was. Jimmy DeYonker. I saw him photographing all the girls on the show. His obsession with girls had literally carried over into his career some 30 years after I had first noticed it.
As interesting as these anecdotes may be, I do not claim to have some unique ability to make accurate predictions. After all, other people have correctly predicted my future as well. We can all see some aspects in others that are indicative of who they are likely to become in the future. We can sense it and see it with everyone around us.
We know the path they are on.
There are few surprises that we are likely to witness in the lives of others, because we can often clearly see where people are going, even before they can. And this brings me to you. If you ask the people around you where they see you going, they will tell you if you prod them. Most of them already see it. You do not see where you are going all the time because you are living in it. You are also denying it. But others simply see it. And they take it for what it is. It may sound daunting, but it is important to ask the people around you about how they envision your life unfolding.
Where are you headed? Are you headed for something positive or negative? Your allies will tell you if you let them. And If you are at all in trouble as I once was, there is no stronger catalyst than change in your life.
THE LESSON
Looking back at the past, one can always identify the mistakes that he or she did not know any better than to make at the time. You cannot get the “whole picture” of you life at any given time because you are currently living it; conversely, you can look at others and see things that will determine their future. You must use this outside perspective to your benefit, and frequently ask those around you about how they envision your life unfolding. Your allies will tell you the truth about yourself, good or bad, if you let them.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Life Lessons
Tagged: apply for a job, career advice, catalyst change, characterize qualities, job market, job search guru, job search guru | a harrison barnes, job seeker, lawfirm jobs, legal profession, legal recruiter, life envision, new job opportunities, potential employer, unfolding life
Job Market
recent posts
Do not be distracted by your insecurities and doubts, or you will never achieve success because you will not allow it to happen. Focus only on the message about your skills and capabilities. Identify your goals and create a gameplan, and fill your mind with positive and hopeful messages that will drive you towards said goal.
In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
In this article Harrison discusses how people who stand for something always do better than those who do not. Companies who stand for something always do better than companies who do not. The most successful companies not only stand for something, but they are completely consistent with their core principles. This is what keeps them going and this is what makes them successful. One of the largest problems that people have in their careers is when they diverge from what they are good at. When you do not stand for something, you divert from your true strength. Everything begins to crumble and slowly fall apart when you are not doing something that you are really good at. The biggest success comes when you stand for something and are good at it.
Companies necessarily seek to employ positive, forward-minded people. A firm’s success depends on their employees, and they seek people who will enhance them rather than merely contribute to the bottom line. People with positive natures, who contribute to a healthy social environment, prove essential to the growth and success of their employers.
In this article Harrison discusses that the meaning you give to things will control the quality of your life. How we feel about ourselves is all due to what we tell ourselves certain things will mean. The meaning you give things is crucial for your career success. You need to choose meanings that make you stronger. You need to ensure you interpret things in a way that serves you and does not hurt you. You need to reach your full potential. Don’t classify yourself as someone who is not fit to succeed at the level at which you’re capable. You need to take charge of your mind to have the career and the life that you deserve.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of ‘energy’ over technical skills. When people are hiring you they are purchasing your “energy” more than they are purchasing your technical skills. They are interested in your ability to influence the world around you through your energy. When you are marketing yourself and seeking a job, or working in a job, there are essentially two things you are marketing. You are marketing your technical skills, but more importantly you are marketing an intangible sort of energy. The most successful people have mastered the art of projecting positive energy. The better your energy, the more employable you will be and the farther you will go.
You can never become too comfortable if you wish to be successful. Your success will largely depend on your ability to become dissatisfied with your current position. Successful people are never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly push beyond their comfort zone. When do you this and succeed, you set a new standard for normality in your life. Be continually dissatisfied, and always pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Resourcefulness can make you better at everything you do, and separates the truly extraordinary people from the general herd. Do everything within your power to be resourceful in your job search, life, and career to give yourself the best possible chance of achieving your goals, and learn how to employ the resources currently at your disposal for maximum impact.
The most successful people in the world share the common characteristic of sharing, or concentrating on the value that they give back to others rather than on their own growth and profit. Focusing on yourself never leads to long-term success, but leads instead to unhappiness as well as emotional and financial challenges. Your greatest consideration, therefore, should be how you can contribute to others, and how your actions can impact their lives.
The best way to attain your goal is through small, incremental steps on which you can build. Establish a routine, and make sure you are consistently working towards some kind of goal. Start small, and always build upon what you have done before. Most people fail to achieve their goals because they believe everything should happen quickly and at the same time, instead of progressively building upon their past achievements.
Make sure that you are involved in groups that focus on positive things. Your success in life depends on your ability to focus on the outcomes you want, and the focus of the groups with which you associate will in turn shape your own focus. You must endeavor to always choose groups with a positive focus.
Everything you do is a form of preparation for your job interviews, as you are always under some form of scrutiny. The best employees can always spot other good employees, and you cannot “fake it”; merely doing a good job in your work is a form of interview preparation. Always put your all into your work, therefore, even if you do not have long-term plans to remain at your current employment. Switch jobs as infrequently as possible. The time to prepare for a job search is before you even realize that you need to do so.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
When myriad candidates are applying to limited positions, practicing unusual tactics in your job hunt will prove far more helpful than following the established routine and waiting for positions to come to you. Much like in military strategy, well-planned and unconventional moves can help you conquer your goals without suffering significant losses. You can land an excellent position by focusing on companies’ needs, rather than depending on job and recruiting advertisements.
You can change your life forever by harnessing the power of persistence. Think about the people in your life, and whether they empower you or hinder you in achieving your goals. You must win at all costs, and persist until you succeed.
You need to provide people what they want, otherwise you will not have a job. Although they might not always be the most desirable kinds of jobs, certain jobs always exist because they provide services that people will always require. The only secret to continual employment is to provide a service that people always need; if you do this, and nothing else, you will always find yourself employed. Give people what they want.
Your ability to help people will determine the extent of your success; the more powerful and effective your help, the greater rewards you will receive. One of the rarest and most profound achievements is to follow through on your goals and create a paradigm-shifting idea. The more revolutionary your work, the more people you will affect and the more memorable of a career you will have.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
The ability to fit into your work environment is among the most important parts of obtaining and retaining a job, even more so than your skill level. Fitting in means nothing more than being comfortable in one’s work environment, and making others similarly comfortable. Employers want to hire people who will embrace their approach to business and the world on physical and moral levels, so you must strive to fit in with their worldview.
Focus on what you are doing, not what others around you are doing. There are people to take action towards their goals, and then there people who sit on the sidelines and comment on the first group of people. People who are mostly interested in gossip and watching others usually lack the confidence and determination to take action themselves. The most successful people go account and accomplish things rather than sit back and watch others make things happen.
In this article, Harrison advises you to live the lives you wish to have, do the jobs you want to do, and basically live your dreams to your best possible ability. Life is fleeting and no one knows what tomorrow holds. So Harrison puts forward certain questions – when are you going to start living the life you want and when are you going to take charge of your life. The time to have the career you want is right now, not tomorrow, and not later. You need to take charge of your career and life and no one else is going to do it for you. Your entire life and the quality of it is a product of your decisions. You can have, do, or be anything you want. Do not create alibis for making comprises in life. What separates the best and the happiest people is the ability to stop to making excuses and Harrison wants you to be this person.
Anyone can be up when things are going well, but the real challenge comes when things are not. Do not look at problems, which are inevitable for any person or business, in a negative light; think of them instead as challenges, lessons, or opportunities. There is a silver lining to be found in every problem, and finding that silver lining will enable you to grow.
Understanding what you do for a living is very important for your career. You should understand the generality of your specific profession. You and your career are a product. You need to know where and how to market yourself in the best way possible. You need to be relevant and understand the skills you are offering. Being a relevant product is essential for your success. It’s easy to be relevant when you understand what you are doing and what purpose you serve. Being relevant is more than just getting a job. Being relevant also relates to serving the employers with the skills they need. You need to understand your market and what your customers want. This is the way to stay employed, and it is also the means to continual improvement.
Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
Related Posts:
Harrison Barnes:
Getting Ahead:
The Role of Jobs in Today's World:
Career Advice:
© 2025 Harrisonbarnes All Rights Reserved
Hey,
This is true, I tried it and found that there are lot of changes in my life now and I have never thought that I would become a software engineer. This is a great article, Thanks for sharing.
The words are nice and encouraging.Learning is a continous process.