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One of the greatest traps people fall into is believing they are entitled to something based on what they have done in the past, or are capable of doing. An even greater problem is believing you are entitled to something for nothing. Incredible as it may seem, most of the people I have seen in the working world throughout the years have an improper sense of entitlement. Rather than helping you, a sense of entitlement holds you back.
Anyone who believes he or she is entitled to something – a parent, an employer, a union, a government, or anyone else, is offering you a Faustian bargain. By making you dependent upon them, they are exerting control over you and your future. There are people and groups that want you to feel entitled and be dependent on them. This is their way of gaining control over you. This is not what you should want. If you have zero sense of entitlement, you can do whatever you want without help. By realizing you are owed nothing, you will go much farther.
The people who are the happiest, the most successful, and in control of their futures realize they are not entitled to anything. They know what happens to them is up to them, not anyone else. The second you give control to others you become a puppet, not a participant, in your own life. I want you to be someone who makes things happen in your own life, and someone who is in control. You can easily seize control of your career and your own life just by changing how you think.
Several years ago, I was sitting in the Kennedy Airport in New York with a relative. We were in a crowded food court with people sitting on both sides of us. My relative had recently learned he was going to inherit a few hundred thousand dollars, and he was planning on leaving it to me.
“Some day you are going to be very rich,” he said.
The people around us looked at me uncomfortably. I did not know what to say. Rich is relative and this was a great deal of money to me at the time. I was young, 26, I believe, and in that moment a dynamic was forming that I could either act upon or not. I could choose to plan my future around this inheritance, which would probably occur in 30 years or more – or I could choose not to care. If I were to plan my future around this inheritance, I might have been happy knowing I would one day have security. However, I could not allow this prospect to affect the way I lived my life.
While I feel it is somewhat crass to bring this point up, I have seen numerous people shape their lives around their family wealth. Some people I knew in school did not apply themselves because they knew they would inherit money one day. This sort of thinking is insane to me.
Your achievements, life, and income should be the result of what you achieve – not others. You should want to create a life based on how you want it to be, instead of waiting for success to come to you. This is an extremely powerful concept I encourage you to really think about. Understanding this can fundamentally change your career and life.
Following World War II, the United States grew at a rapid pace. During this time, our economy grew and trade prospered, and a massive amount of wealth was created. The money that came into the financial system also fueled a larger government, more union representation, and a giant expansion of the middle class. Fair wages, healthcare, and a certain standard of living became the focus of government and unions.
People began to feel the government and large business organizations could take on all of the problems of the world. People began to look to the government, unions, and others as organizations owing them the lives they wanted. While the idea had been percolating for some time, the notion the government could fix all ills was a centerpiece of Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society social reforms, which he announced during a commencement speech at the University of Michigan in 1964:
“We are going to assemble the best thought and broadest knowledge from all over the world to find these answers. I intend to establish working groups to prepare a series of conferences and meetings–on the cities, on natural beauty, on the quality of education, and on other emerging challenges. From these studies, we will begin to set our course toward the Great Society.”
Some goals of the Great Society social reforms included the elimination of poverty and racial injustice, the creation of major social programs, and spending geared towards deficits in transportation, urban issues, education, medical care, and more. People came to believe the government could fix anything.
Johnson’s Great Society represented nothing less than perfection. People were promised the government would fix whatever perceived wrongs existed in society. This sent the message to most people that someone else was responsible for what happened to them and their lives. The idea was that a society made up of bureaucrats could essentially take care of the people.
What happened, however, was these solutions never fully worked. People felt cheated and angry when certain promises were made by bureaucrats and others were not met. Companies and other large organizations that were unionized crumbled under the weight of their own entitlement programs. As layoffs and other problems began affecting the United States from the 1970s onward, people began to see themselves as victims of society. They became trapped in a cycle of dependence, resentment, and anger.
As we look around at the world today we see everyone blaming others for the issues they face. If people cannot afford their mortgages, they blame the banks and request government aid. If car makers cannot make a profit they request government help. There is a belief, which politicians and others have helped cultivate in this society, that people are not responsible for their own actions and someone else is to blame. No one is responsible for his or her own situation.
Putting the blame on others sets up a vicious cycle of dependence and disappointment. We begin to look for leaders who promise us various entitlements. We elect people based on their promise to redistribute wealth in society because we feel society owes us something. We base our lives on the hope someone else will take care of this. This sort of thinking is exactly what has led to socialism and, ultimately, communism in some countries. Everyone wants something from the government. If we continue to believe the system is unfair and the demands are great enough, communism promises a society in which everyone is rewarded equally by the government.
What you need to do is realize if your life is controlled by others you will be continually disappointed. You need to be in control of what happens to you, and to realize you are in control of your own life. No one else is responsible for you and no one owes you anything. There is nothing worse than living your life under the assumption someone owes you something. You should always consider you owe something to yourself.
If you go into job interviews believing you are owed something, you will probably won’t get hired. Employers want people who want to contribute. If you go into relationships believing you are owed something, you will fail. If you believe your current employer owes you something, this is also likely to create issues for you.
Accept total and complete responsibility for your career and life. You can do this. If you are from the United States you are part of a long line of people who have done this.
At some point in time, your ancestors came to the United States with great ambitions about what they could become and the people they could be. Chances are they came to this country with very little, if any, money and the simple hope they could become successful. Your ancestors knew this country could give them a tremendous amount of opportunity – the ability to work and achieve what they wanted without intervention from the government, class systems, or other societal restraints that keep people down in many other societies throughout the world.
Your ancestors came here because they knew they could do it on their own. They came here because they knew they controlled their own destinies. They came to a country where no one owed them anything. They came knowing they could make their own dreams come true.
Maybe you’ve gotten caught up in believing the government, your employer, or someone else owes you something. I would say you have been assimilated into this culture and country now. Sometime in the near or distant past, however, one of your family members came to this country believing they were owed nothing. They may have even come to escape the same system of frustrated expectations and entitlements you are now experiencing. You need to step back, take control, and realize that you, and only you, are in control of your destiny.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Life Lessons
Tagged: career blog | a harrison barnes, communism, do it yourself, entitlement, expectations, job search, job search advice, sense of entitlement, socialism
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In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
In this article Harrison discusses how people who stand for something always do better than those who do not. Companies who stand for something always do better than companies who do not. The most successful companies not only stand for something, but they are completely consistent with their core principles. This is what keeps them going and this is what makes them successful. One of the largest problems that people have in their careers is when they diverge from what they are good at. When you do not stand for something, you divert from your true strength. Everything begins to crumble and slowly fall apart when you are not doing something that you are really good at. The biggest success comes when you stand for something and are good at it.
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Your ability to help people will determine the extent of your success; the more powerful and effective your help, the greater rewards you will receive. One of the rarest and most profound achievements is to follow through on your goals and create a paradigm-shifting idea. The more revolutionary your work, the more people you will affect and the more memorable of a career you will have.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
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Understanding what you do for a living is very important for your career. You should understand the generality of your specific profession. You and your career are a product. You need to know where and how to market yourself in the best way possible. You need to be relevant and understand the skills you are offering. Being a relevant product is essential for your success. It’s easy to be relevant when you understand what you are doing and what purpose you serve. Being relevant is more than just getting a job. Being relevant also relates to serving the employers with the skills they need. You need to understand your market and what your customers want. This is the way to stay employed, and it is also the means to continual improvement.
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Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
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Agree with your points – well said. I would also add however, that we each have responsibilities toward others. Thus, when one makes a promise to another, that promise should be kept.
Reversely, when another makes a promise to you, that other should keep that promise to you.
While I may not be “entitled” to anything from my employer, if the employer agrees in advance to pay me $300,000 a year in salary, I am not going to later accept $50,000 after doing the work and tell myself “I’m responsible” for their dishonesty. I may be responsible on a philosophical basis, since I decided to work there, however my attorneys will secure the remaining $250,000 that I was promised.
Similarly, if I agree to take out a $1,000,000 mortgage from a bank, I can’t just change my mind a few months later and walk away from the house and it’s payments and tell myself “they are responsible for their situation – they never should have trusted me!” That would be absurd (and is illegal.)
Taking responsibility and owning your own condition is a critical life skill – being involved with others who will do the same is the only way it will work. Otherwise, life quickly devolves into a law-of-the-jungle situation where the biggest, baddest, and most devious win all, while the rest suffer.
There has to be a fair balance of interchange between all parties involved for any group situation to prosper. If each individual was wholly responsible, group situations would be far more pleasant.
Make sense?
At first I started to read this article like other article. But when I go though all the way then I have found a wonderful
description why we should take responsibility for ourselves. In a word it is a very helpful article for grown up people. ***
looking for another job now.. this article is just right for me. Amazing article.
I’ve been reading your blog for some time and I must say that this article reflected my current thoughts 100%.
Thanks for the insight.
I agree! The best article you’ve written. It’s too bad that the majority of the people that feel “entitled” will most likely never see this article. The less people have it seems the more they believe someone should give it to them.
I can’t stand when people complain. You have to adjust your thoughts and go for what you want in life.
That addresses several of my concerns actually.