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When I was around 10 years old, one day my stepfather stayed home from work. He had a bad stomachache the night before and had felt very sick. I remember he had gotten sick at around 8:00 in the evening and had been ill most of the night. His illness continued into the early afternoon that day and I remembered when I went to school, that morning I could hear him moaning from his illness.
I remember the atmosphere in the house was just that we thought he was ill with some sort of a serious bug. My mother and he had recently gotten married around a year before. My little sister had just been born and she was no more than a few months old. He had recently started a business and everything in his life was going pretty well.
When I got home from school that evening, my grandmother was in the house.
“They took John to the hospital,” she told me. My mother wasn’t there. They were doing all sorts of testing to figure out exactly what was wrong with him. No one seemed to understand what was wrong. I didn’t see my mother for a few days because she was going to the hospital very early in the morning and leaving very late at night. Finally, a couple of days later, my grandmother sat me down and explained to me that they were going to be operating on my stepfather starting that evening.
Despite the fact that he was only in his late 30s, a terrible cancer had apparently infected numerous parts of his body from his stomach, to his bladder, to his kidneys. The surgeons were going to do what they could in an operation that evening; however, they gave him a one in a hundred chance of even surviving on the operating table. In fact, they didn’t even want to operate because they thought the odds were so slim that he wouldn’t be able to survive. The cancer had spread throughout his body so completely that they didn’t believe his system could take having so many organs removed at one time. He wanted the operation, however.
Before the operation, my mother apparently cried a great deal and members of his family had gathered beside him. Everyone believed it was the last time they would see him alive. As he was being taken away to surgery, he told everyone that he would be just fine and would see them in a few days.
The operation took over 24 hours if I remember correctly. When the operation was done, the lead surgeon came out and told my mother that the only reason he had survived was because of his inner strength and that he still had a lot to do. With a young family, a new business, a new wife and goals, my stepfather wanted to live in order to fulfill his objectives in life. He had things to do and things to accomplish.
Remember the periods of your life when you’ve had the most problems. You may have been depressed. You may have been overeating. You may have been unemployed. You may have been exiting a relationship. You may have been experiencing some sort of personal issues. Usually, if you reflect on this period, it is the period when you are least passionate about anything.
You are typically either growing or you are dying. You need to constantly be moving forward towards some sort of goal. Whenever progress in your life stops, you typically will feel some sort of discomfort. When you stop searching for a meaning, you feel empty and lonely. You must always be in the pursuit of growth and learning.
When I was in seventh grade, I decided that I no longer had a lot of respect for school. I stopped doing homework. In seventh grade, I did so poorly that my parents decided I needed to enroll in a private school. In eight grade, I flunked out of the private school. In ninth grade, I got a 1.7 grade point average for the year. I was in with a bad crowd and headed for a bad life in the future. I remember that my father said to me one day: “If you start trying in school, everything will fall into place and it will do so quickly.” I had nothing to lose and listened to him. I made it my goal to get the best grades possible. Within weeks, I was the Vice President of my class in the student counsel. I was a varsity athlete. I also ended the year with the best grades in my class for the year. I did this all by having a goal and making the pursuit of growth and learning a priority.
When you visit people who are chronically depressed and unhappy, you will generally find that they don’t have a goal. When you see people who are chronically unemployed, you will see that they generally don’t have a goal. When you find people who are incredibly lonely about this or that, you will find in most cases that they don’t have a goal.
Everyone has energy and we want to put our energies into solving difficulties. When people don’t have difficulties and objectives to solve, they will often make them up. Kids who are vandals and make trouble do so in order to have problems to deal with. Couples often get divorced after their kids leave home because they no longer have a common purpose and objective (the kids) to keep them together and moving forward. People need a purpose.
People who come up with one psychosomatic disorder or another typically have little purpose in their lives and their psychosomatic disorders give them problems to deal with. In fact, a lack of purpose for some people may even manifest in their body as a disease. Have you ever noticed how certain people are always getting sick? Many might argue that this is the body’s way of giving us something to deal with.
When we solve the difficulties that we have, we are in much better shape. Since we are designed for growth, we must make sure that growth is always fueled. Without fueling growth, we have no purpose and nothing to deal with.
My wife and I used to take exotic vacations to the middle of nowhere. In fact, we would go far, far away to places where there wasn’t even any Internet. Several years ago, I remember we took a vacation to a small island in the Maldives in the Indian Ocean. It took us over 24 hours of commercial flights and finally a 90-minute float plane journey to finally reach our destination. We spent two weeks or so on a small island with literally nothing to do. Since I couldn’t work every single day, I became quite frustrated. After around four or five days of this, my wife started pointing out to me that she believed I was intentionally creating fights out of nothing at all to keep myself occupied. Since there were no problems at work, I decided to create some with my wife. My wife pointed out to me that we really didn’t have any problems with each other after a couple of stupid and drawn out arguments about things as banal as her leaving the cap off the toothpaste. I very quickly realized that I had nothing to fight with my wife about so I decided to fight with myself. I became depressed and decided that I had a problem. Then I realized this was crazy. I made sure that my office started faxing me a daily update of what was going on. Then I felt better. This gave me a sense of purpose again. I felt fantastic when I finally got back to the United States and was working again.
When you look at the happiest and most successful people out there, you will generally discover they have an amazing ability to keep themselves extremely busy with some sense of purpose. I remember reading one of Donald Trump’s books and how he talked about how he never, ever takes a vacation. He gets a charge out of the sense of purpose in his life. This is what I’ve seen time and time again among the most accomplished and happy people out there: They have an incredible sense of purpose. We get passion in our lives from growth.
Since we are designed for growth, we need to make sure that out growth is fueled, always.
Proverbs 29:18 says: “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” Without vision and purpose, people often don’t focus and they don’t reach their goals. The older and more common translation of this quote states that, “Without vision, the people perish.” I’m sure you have seen this as well. Without vision, people simply lose vitality and what makes them live and be alive.
Civilizations typically are conquered and die when their leaders fail to inspire a vision among the people. Conquest by an enemy with a vision is typically the last phase for a dying civilization. In your career and life, you too will be conquered if you don’t have a vision. If you don’t have a vision for who you will become and what you will achieve in your life, you will simply be forced into someone else’s vision. If you blindly go to work as a cashier at a Walmart, for example, you may be in service of a vision of the Founder of WalMart, Sam Walton, who long ago imagined a chain of stores like WalMart. You will also be in service of the manager of the store and others dependent upon your work. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working as a cashier in a WalMart; however, there is something gravely wrong with this if you’re not in the service of your own vision when you are doing this.
Have you seen the sort of enthusiasm that overcomes people when they have a vision? When people want to achieve something and have vision their lives change. If you don’t have any vision and you don’t have a passion for your vision then you are going to have the sorts of problems in your life that you don’t want.
Many people in the world believe if they get rich and make a lot of money then all of their problems will be solved. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the history of lottery winners often proves the opposite. Many lottery winners report experiencing more problems after winning the lottery than they had before doing so. The reason is because they may have experienced success in winning money but they don’t know anything whatsoever about being fulfilled. Fulfillment requires the satisfaction of becoming someone. For a healthy life, we need to feel fulfilled.
One of the biggest problems we have in life is the belief deep down that we shouldn’t have problems. The only people who don’t have problems are the people who are in cemeteries. The rest of the world has problems. Regardless of their station in life, most people in the world have lots and lots of problems. To not expect problems is stupid. Some problems are just more serious than other problems.
The secret is that you need to experience problems as part of a vision and as part of your growth. When you learn this, you will almost always experience happiness. Regardless of what happens to you in the world or if you are laid off by your employer, or lose a job, when you’re not pursuing growth, you are unemployed. If you are always pursuing growth, then regardless of whether you lose a job, you are always going to be employed. When you are unemployed (i.e., with no vision) you will create problems for yourself to give yourself something to do in order to be occupied. You must always be in the pursuit of growth and learning.
THE LESSON
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Don’t subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Goal Setting
Tagged: least passionate, pursuit of growth, sort of goal, unemployment
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In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
In this article Harrison discusses how people who stand for something always do better than those who do not. Companies who stand for something always do better than companies who do not. The most successful companies not only stand for something, but they are completely consistent with their core principles. This is what keeps them going and this is what makes them successful. One of the largest problems that people have in their careers is when they diverge from what they are good at. When you do not stand for something, you divert from your true strength. Everything begins to crumble and slowly fall apart when you are not doing something that you are really good at. The biggest success comes when you stand for something and are good at it.
Companies necessarily seek to employ positive, forward-minded people. A firm’s success depends on their employees, and they seek people who will enhance them rather than merely contribute to the bottom line. People with positive natures, who contribute to a healthy social environment, prove essential to the growth and success of their employers.
In this article Harrison discusses that the meaning you give to things will control the quality of your life. How we feel about ourselves is all due to what we tell ourselves certain things will mean. The meaning you give things is crucial for your career success. You need to choose meanings that make you stronger. You need to ensure you interpret things in a way that serves you and does not hurt you. You need to reach your full potential. Don’t classify yourself as someone who is not fit to succeed at the level at which you’re capable. You need to take charge of your mind to have the career and the life that you deserve.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of ‘energy’ over technical skills. When people are hiring you they are purchasing your “energy” more than they are purchasing your technical skills. They are interested in your ability to influence the world around you through your energy. When you are marketing yourself and seeking a job, or working in a job, there are essentially two things you are marketing. You are marketing your technical skills, but more importantly you are marketing an intangible sort of energy. The most successful people have mastered the art of projecting positive energy. The better your energy, the more employable you will be and the farther you will go.
You can never become too comfortable if you wish to be successful. Your success will largely depend on your ability to become dissatisfied with your current position. Successful people are never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly push beyond their comfort zone. When do you this and succeed, you set a new standard for normality in your life. Be continually dissatisfied, and always pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Resourcefulness can make you better at everything you do, and separates the truly extraordinary people from the general herd. Do everything within your power to be resourceful in your job search, life, and career to give yourself the best possible chance of achieving your goals, and learn how to employ the resources currently at your disposal for maximum impact.
The most successful people in the world share the common characteristic of sharing, or concentrating on the value that they give back to others rather than on their own growth and profit. Focusing on yourself never leads to long-term success, but leads instead to unhappiness as well as emotional and financial challenges. Your greatest consideration, therefore, should be how you can contribute to others, and how your actions can impact their lives.
The best way to attain your goal is through small, incremental steps on which you can build. Establish a routine, and make sure you are consistently working towards some kind of goal. Start small, and always build upon what you have done before. Most people fail to achieve their goals because they believe everything should happen quickly and at the same time, instead of progressively building upon their past achievements.
Make sure that you are involved in groups that focus on positive things. Your success in life depends on your ability to focus on the outcomes you want, and the focus of the groups with which you associate will in turn shape your own focus. You must endeavor to always choose groups with a positive focus.
Everything you do is a form of preparation for your job interviews, as you are always under some form of scrutiny. The best employees can always spot other good employees, and you cannot “fake it”; merely doing a good job in your work is a form of interview preparation. Always put your all into your work, therefore, even if you do not have long-term plans to remain at your current employment. Switch jobs as infrequently as possible. The time to prepare for a job search is before you even realize that you need to do so.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
When myriad candidates are applying to limited positions, practicing unusual tactics in your job hunt will prove far more helpful than following the established routine and waiting for positions to come to you. Much like in military strategy, well-planned and unconventional moves can help you conquer your goals without suffering significant losses. You can land an excellent position by focusing on companies’ needs, rather than depending on job and recruiting advertisements.
You can change your life forever by harnessing the power of persistence. Think about the people in your life, and whether they empower you or hinder you in achieving your goals. You must win at all costs, and persist until you succeed.
You need to provide people what they want, otherwise you will not have a job. Although they might not always be the most desirable kinds of jobs, certain jobs always exist because they provide services that people will always require. The only secret to continual employment is to provide a service that people always need; if you do this, and nothing else, you will always find yourself employed. Give people what they want.
Your ability to help people will determine the extent of your success; the more powerful and effective your help, the greater rewards you will receive. One of the rarest and most profound achievements is to follow through on your goals and create a paradigm-shifting idea. The more revolutionary your work, the more people you will affect and the more memorable of a career you will have.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
The ability to fit into your work environment is among the most important parts of obtaining and retaining a job, even more so than your skill level. Fitting in means nothing more than being comfortable in one’s work environment, and making others similarly comfortable. Employers want to hire people who will embrace their approach to business and the world on physical and moral levels, so you must strive to fit in with their worldview.
Focus on what you are doing, not what others around you are doing. There are people to take action towards their goals, and then there people who sit on the sidelines and comment on the first group of people. People who are mostly interested in gossip and watching others usually lack the confidence and determination to take action themselves. The most successful people go account and accomplish things rather than sit back and watch others make things happen.
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Anyone can be up when things are going well, but the real challenge comes when things are not. Do not look at problems, which are inevitable for any person or business, in a negative light; think of them instead as challenges, lessons, or opportunities. There is a silver lining to be found in every problem, and finding that silver lining will enable you to grow.
Understanding what you do for a living is very important for your career. You should understand the generality of your specific profession. You and your career are a product. You need to know where and how to market yourself in the best way possible. You need to be relevant and understand the skills you are offering. Being a relevant product is essential for your success. It’s easy to be relevant when you understand what you are doing and what purpose you serve. Being relevant is more than just getting a job. Being relevant also relates to serving the employers with the skills they need. You need to understand your market and what your customers want. This is the way to stay employed, and it is also the means to continual improvement.
Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
Determine whether you are a global or specific person. Most people are either too general or too specific in the way they treat information, and overly detail-oriented people risk losing sight of the bigger picture. General people are more comfortable in managerial positions, while detail-oriented people prefer everything to conform to a logical sequence. Understand which sort of person you are, and seek work that best harnesses your natural inclination.
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Where have you been all my life?! I don’t know where you get the inspiration for your messages, but it speaks to me like nobody’s business. I am so inspired to become my old self, where I lived with passion!!
Harrison, another great post. I feel like telling the people spending thousands of dollars for a “Life-Coach” that they should just read your Blog. A few months back I didn’t quite grasp the implications of your philosophy, but now I look forward to reading it each evening.
Thanks “Coach”!
Bernie
This message so poignant in light of an incident I experienced in connection to my job a few days ago- it’s something I’m still grappling with. Your message put the incident and everything else in perspective. Thank you!
If I had a peaceful moment in my life right now, I wouldn’t waste time worrying about creating fights. I’d cherish the moment and count my blessings.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING A GOAL AND HOPING TO BECOME SOMEONE