Featured
View Count: 2649
When I was in high school, one of the happiest kids I knew was an excellent athlete whom I’ll call Bill. He was very intelligent and always had the best looking girlfriends. He eventually ended up marrying his high school sweetheart.
Bill was from a relatively small town in Michigan, and he ended up going to our private boarding school, where he was surrounded by a lot of very high achievers. I think the type of people he met there really must have changed his perspective. Some of the kids he played baseball with in high school went on to play baseball in college. Some of these kids went on to Ivy League schools and planned on doing things like becoming doctors. I remember one of his friends went to Stanford. I don’t think Bill went away to college and he stayed home and attended a local community college for a year or two. After high school, his life did not appear to blossom the way the lives of others around him did. That’s not to say there was anything wrong with his life – he just didn’t appear interested in taking over the world.
When I’d first met Bill he’d been among the happiest people I had ever known. His happiness was very pure and deep. But something horrible happened to him, and I will come back to that in a moment.
What I am about to share with you is one of the most profound ways I know to look at the world and your place in it. If you consider yourself even slightly motivated, this may be one of the more useful things you will ever read. What you are about to read could change your life forever, and it could even save your life.
A few years ago, I was at a Tony Robbins conference in Palm Springs, California. Tony told a story about how his stepson had attended one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the world. An important person from the Middle East was apparently so happy with the assistance Tony had provided him that he told Tony he would get his stepson into this ultra prestigious school, which was in Switzerland, as a gift. Tony accepted the offer and sent his stepson off to the school.
Tony made the point of saying before sending his stepson to the school, he’d been a very fit kid, and was also extremely happy. The boy had a positive disposition and lots of friends. He never seemed to care what other kids around him were doing and was mainly interested in just enjoying his own life.
Although Tony didn’t know it, once his stepson started going to this school, he started requesting thousands of dollars a month in spending money from his mother. Apparently he felt he needed new clothes and various other things to keep up with the other kids at the school. These kids were the sons of prime ministers and princes from Europe, famous actors, and other titans of industry – the children of some of the most important and well known people in the world.
After Tony’s stepson had been at the school for about six months, Tony traveled to Switzerland to visit him. He immediately noticed his stepson had gained at least 30 pounds. He hardly recognized him. His stepson insisted they go to a certain sushi restaurant for lunch, and the bill was several hundred dollars. Before, his stepson had never been concerned about restaurants and spending a lot of money. Aside from this, what Tony noticed most about his stepson was he now seemed very unhappy. He kept comparing himself with the people around him, and did not seem to feel good about himself.
His stepson had started comparing himself to others and felt like he came up short in every category. The boy simply did not feel good about himself or his family any longer. As Tony was speaking with him, the boy would say things like:
-This person was better than he was in this category.
-This person was better than Tony in this category.
-This person had a newer this or that.
-This person had more important parents.
-Tony was “new money,” and this was not good.
-This family was better than his because of this reason.
According to Tony, it was as if the school had given his stepson reasons to no longer feel good about himself. He compared everything in his life against something or someone else. Consequently, the boy gained tons of weight and became very unhappy with himself. Tony felt the damage was so severe he pulled him out of the school a short time later.
When you’ve achieved a high level of success and are around people with the most privileges and advantages, you often find the people who are the unhappiest with themselves. I think there is some truth to the idea the most successful people are often the unhappiest. The reason this may be true is they constantly measure themselves against ideals they simply cannot attain.
People who want to get very good grades may say to themselves, “nothing less than an ‘A’ is acceptable.” When they fail to get an A grade, they feel badly about themselves. Even if they get all As, if they get one A+, they might feel angry their other grades are not “A+” as well. A thinking process geared towards an ideal leads people to see they are failing to be “perfect”, and to meet a certain ideal in numerous other areas of their life:
-Their relationships with others
-Their wealth
-Their athletic ability
-Their health
-Their attractiveness
-Their popularity
-Their material possessions
-Their social status
-The social status of their parents
-Their weight
-Their natural intelligence
-Their talents of every kind
This list could go on and on. When people see others who are better than them, they often feel a sense of inferiority.
When many of us hear about stars overdosing on drugs or having other severe problems, the reaction often is, “Why would someone with so many advantages do this?” Stars are so programmed to achieve success, they often simply feel they do not measure up in a variety of areas. In many cases, it is the people closest to the star who make the person aware he or she does not measure up.
When I started seeing headlines about Britney Spears hanging around with Paris Hilton, I knew it would not be good for Britney Spears, and instinctively knew Britney was likely to start having severe problems. Paris comes from a different background than Britney, having grown up among the upper class, and she has an awareness of society I am sure Britney lacked at the time. In short, Paris’ insight into society could surely make Britney feel as if she were not measuring up, despite her massive fame and fortune. Paris knows what it is like to be from money; Paris knows about the social pecking order better than Britney.
Sure enough, very shortly after the two were announced to be friends and were seen frequently together, all sorts of horrible things started happening to Spears, which were of her own making. She shaved her head, was carted away to a psychiatric ward on a stretcher, and more. I am sure a lot of what happened had to do with Paris showing Britney how she did not measure up. Paris’ influence on Britney might not have been direct, but the effect occurred nonetheless.
There is a real danger in the way most of us have been taught to think about ourselves and the world. This way of thinking about ourselves and others never allows us to measure up. Instead of appreciating where we have come from and what we have achieved, most of us compare ourselves to an impossible ideal. All around us there are ideals we think we need to measure up to. We never can.
I want to propose a way of looking at the world and your place in it that will virtually guarantee you happiness and success throughout your life: you will never achieve the “ideal” in anything. You can keep trying, but you will never, ever be the best at everything. There is always going to be someone better than you.
Compare yourself only to the person you were before. Measure yourself against your own progress in various categories and do not compare yourself to others. Forget about others.
If you can understand this idea and apply it, your life will be changed forever. When you measure yourself against where you have been in the past, you are always going to feel a sense of progress. Each new success you achieve is going to give you a greater sense of satisfaction and push you forward with more positive energy. You can always improve on where you have already been, and what you have already accomplished. If you want to make improvements in any area, write down where you are right now and set out to improve. Measure yourself against where you have been, not where others have been.
Our brains like to set goals. Goals are absolutely necessary to drive us forward and make us achieve in life. But we cannot measure ourselves against others. We need to measure ourselves against ourselves, and gauge our progress in that fashion.
People who measure themselves against an ideal always feel disappointed. It is impossible to achieve every single goal you set for yourself. When you do not reach your ever-elusive goals, you end up feeling like a loser. You cannot possibly achieve every goal you set for yourself. What you can do, however, is constantly improve. This way you will continually feel a sense of victory as you move forward in life.
For example, if your goal is to lose weight, you can look at the scale a week from now after dieting and see that you have lost some weight. You have achieved something and have a reason to celebrate. This small victory will improve your self esteem and help you feel better about yourself.
Now, if you want to weigh 115 pounds like a star you read about in US Magazine, the reality is that you might never be able to achieve this. This is not how you should measure yourself.
I am sure you love watching television as much as I do, but most of the time what we are seeing is not the way the world really is. Nevertheless, many people are led to believe that the outside world is very similar to what they see on television, or read about in books and gossip magazines. There is an ideal that everyone aspires to attain. This ideal is a fantasy that simply does not exist. Comparing yourself to a fantasy world is a recipe for disaster and continual frustration.
Many people believe they can only be happy if their lives match a blueprint of what they believe a perfect life should be. When you really think about this, it is their model of the world that consistently makes them come up short. You need to compare yourself to where you have been and not where you think you should be.
You will start to feel fulfilled when you start comparing yourself to where you have been. You will be experiencing the life that you want. You deserve to feel fulfilled in life and to feel good about yourself.
Growing up, I had the privilege of having relatives who lived out in the country on farms, who did things like drive trucks for a living. In spending time with this family, I also met many of their friends who had far different expectations for their lives than the sort of people you meet in big cities. The people I met from the country typically had very low expectations for themselves and their lives. They were mostly concerned about things like putting food on the table and having a family. They did not believe they would ever be rich, or their children should be attending important schools. This simply was not part of their blueprint.
These were also some of the happiest people I ever met. The fact their expectations were so low meant there was very little to disappoint them. Things we might take for granted (like new tires on a car, for instance) were things that gave these people a great deal of satisfaction.
Conversely, I also grew up with people who had extremely high expectations for themselves. These were the people who went to the private high school I attended. Some of them were continually disappointed in themselves and the world around them, and they often turned to drugs in order to feel better about themselves and their lives. These kids were very intelligent and extremely capable. Many of them ended up going to the very best colleges and today are living in big cities, doing things like working for investment banks. They are also still very unhappy.
One of the kids I went to school with was Bill – the baseball player I mentioned at the beginning of this article. He was from a small town background of lower expectations, like my relatives, or even Britney Spears, who grew up in rural Louisiana. This young man was thrust into a high-expectations environment of a private school, where I am sure he learned to compare himself to numerous ideals:
-It is important to have parents who are rich.
-It is important to drive a nice car.
-It is important to get into the best college.
-It is important to get the best and highest paying job possible.
-It is important to score in the top 10 percent on your SATs.
-It is important to be the best athlete.
-It is important to impress others.
He was a happy kid when I first met him. After college, his first day of work in an “official job” was going to be for his wife’s father. That night, he went to sleep with his wife just like any other night. At least, that’s how it appeared to his wife. In the morning, she woke up and did not see him anywhere. A short time later she checked the basement and found him hanging by his neck from a noose. He had committed suicide.
Who knows what was going on inside his mind or why he ended up killing himself? No one around him ever expected anything like this would ever happen. When I think about this, I bet the young man simply did not measure up to his ideals, or whatever he thought he should be doing with his career. There must have been something in his mind that made him feel like he did not belong on this earth and that he wanted to escape.
You have already achieved so much, and you will continue to achieve great things in your life, step by step. Let yourself be carried forward by the knowledge you have improved and are continually improving. Use your past as a yardstick, and never use an ideal. You are capable of greatness. Just be patient and let your life unfold – and enjoy the process.
THE LESSON
Use your past, rather than some unattainable ideal, as the yardstick for measuring progress in your life and career. The most successful people are also often the most unhappy, because they measure themselves against impossible ideals, which causes a constant sense of inferiority. There will always be someone better than you, and there are ideals all around you against which it would be unrealistic and stupid to measure yourself. Instead, compare yourself only to the person you were before; measure yourself against your own progress, and forget about others.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Life Lessons
Tagged: career, ideals, measure your progress, switzerland
Job Market
recent posts
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
Determine whether you are a global or specific person. Most people are either too general or too specific in the way they treat information, and overly detail-oriented people risk losing sight of the bigger picture. General people are more comfortable in managerial positions, while detail-oriented people prefer everything to conform to a logical sequence. Understand which sort of person you are, and seek work that best harnesses your natural inclination.
In this article Harrison talks about releasing the lack that you feel, in order to reach your full potential. If a sense of lack dominates your thinking, it will affect your interaction with the world and how the world sees you. There are many areas of your life where you are coming from a position of lack. Your ability to release this lack and go forward with your life can create a tremendous sense of peace and more natural accomplishments in your world. The amount of lack that people see out there is profound and it has a massive impact on their lives. According to Harrison, the most successful people in the world see the world as a place of opportunity and not lack.
When faced with difficult times, you must develop the ability to transcend the trouble around you instead of giving up or assuming that nothing can be done about your situation. Keep your wits about you and take charge of the situation, and you will find yourself on track for constant improvement and career success.
It is extremely important that you enjoy your job. Most people find themselves in jobs that they resent, and eventually make this resentment known by appearing disinterested and distracted. Success comes from being engaged in and grateful for your work. You can define your job according to your own vision; you can either choose to engage with your work, or avoid and despise what you do. People recognize and appreciate those who are enthusiastic about their work.
Your résumé is an extremely important document. There are entire books written about how to craft them. I have written at least one myself. There are scores of résumé consultants, companies, and others that will work on your résumé for a fee. Hiring one of these services can be useful and can improve your résumé. Nevertheless, most résumés can improve dramatically by following the below advice.
In this article Harrison explains how you can do better in your career by selling. The most successful people are absolute masters at sales. Selling is among the most important career skills you can have. When you know how to sell something you can do exceptionally well wherever you go. Knowing how to sell something is a key to survival, advancement, fame, and fortune. Everything we do is about making a sale. Selling yourself is about showing others the value you can bring them. So package yourself to the best of your ability, always be at your best and sell yourself. Develop your sales skills and do not be afraid to sell anything. Whatever your goal in life, becoming an effective salesman will help you achieve it.
It is absolutely vital to be in control of your life and career. When you fail to control your life, someone else will step in to do so and fit your life into their plans. Understand that it is in others’ interests to establish control over your life and work, and instead exert control yourself over your life and the events around you.
Do not be a dabbler, or someone who turns away in the face of stress; the secret to long-term happiness is to instead confront and push through these stress factors. Do not be discouraged by difficulties, but find ways to persist and deal with the stress. Confronting problems head-on is the key to improvement, and will take you much further than the dabblers who fail to approach their careers with commitment.
In this article Harrison discusses how persistent pursuit of something you believe in, against all obstacles, is one of the most important keys to success. So many of us just decide at some point not to push through and not to keep going even when a little bit of extra effort would push us through. The secret to being incredibly good at everything is pushing through and getting better and better when others around you are quitting. Even while hiring, employers want experts and people who are the best at what they are doing–they do not want dabblers. They want to hire the person who is incredibly committed to a job and has persisted against odds in one direction when others have given up.
In this article Harrison suggests that you actually may be safer getting a job without the help of family or friends. It is exceedingly rare that a friend or family member will ever be able to get you a position. They may not even want to help you get a job for various reasons. Their involvement in your job search may actually hurt you. The organization may actually look upon you negatively if you try to use a friend or family member to get a job. So going through a close contact is often counterproductive to your job search. Even if you get a position through a friend or family member, you could harm your relationship with that person in the process. Your friend or family member’s act of kindness may ultimately unbalance your relationship. The risks involved in this kind of job far outweigh the potential rewards.
A powerful sense of self will make all the difference in your life. You must understand that your sense of yourself and your capabilities come from inside of you, not from the external forces that have brought you to your current place in life. What you feel internally might be completely different from what the world is telling you, and you must learn to focus on the former rather than the latter.
In this article, Harrison explains the importance of making an effort in your job which is way above what is expected of you. When you have been given certain responsibilities, it means that someone is dependent on you for certain things. When you fulfill these duties far more efficiently, put in a lot more time and effort, and even stay back on weekends and holidays to complete or do extra work, your employers get the message that you are sharing their burden of pressures with them and begin to place tremendous trust in you. This is what paves the path to your promotion and growth in the company. Harrison believes that you need to develop the correct attitude and possess an extraordinary work ethic to thrive in the job you do.
In this article Harrison discusses how resisting change and not taking necessary and relevant action can be the biggest obstacles to a better career and better life. Resistance is something that prevents most people from ever changing. Resisting change can be highly damaging to your growth in your career and life. Instead of allowing your life to be controlled by external circumstances, choose to take action and bring about a change. Conduct a brutal self analysis if needed, to clear the blocks you have in your mind and to bring about change that is necessary. Most people give up. They do not persist. You need strategies and beliefs that will allow you to persist and persevere, so that you can change. The best strategy is to be focused, and this focus will help you overcome the resistance you face whenever you make an effort to begin changing.
Adopting a positive attitude will always bring you closer to success, as nobody wants to be associated with a losing side. Everyone wants to associate with and hire winners, and avoids losers. Nothing is more important than maintaining a positive attitude, as many employers hire people based primarily on attitude; with the right attitude, everything else will fall into place. You must look like you are on the winning team, even if times are tough; nobody wants to hire a loser.
The past does not dictate the future, so you should not use inductive reasoning to make conclusions about your life or career. Recognize when you are making incorrect conclusions based on past events, and switch to deductive reasoning in which you are not limited by the past. You will find your conclusions to be much more accurate, and you will succeed as a result.
When I was an attorney, I stopped going out to lunch with other attorneys during the day. The reason was not that I was not hungry. Instead, I stopped going out to lunch because just about everyone I worked with would want to dedicate the lunch to a critique—whether it was critiquing our bosses, coworkers, or others. When these people were not being critiqued, the job itself was being critiqued. When the job was not being critiqued, the attorney’s home life was being critiqued.
In this article Harrison discusses the significance of conditioning yourself to develop behaviors that will elevate you in your life. One of the most difficult things for anyone to do is to get leverage over themselves and condition themselves to go in a new direction. Very few people are ever able to make very fundamental transformations in their lives and become someone completely new and completely improved—and stick with it. Major improvements in our lives come only when we condition ourselves over and over again in one direction. You need to get leverage over yourself and condition new habits and behaviors within yourself to make any sort of fundamental and lasting change. The conditioning needs to be part of your lifestyle. You need to condition yourself to adopt new patterns in your life.
Going after companies on an “explosive growth” trend is among the most interesting and beneficial things you can do in your job search, as many such companies will hire you even if they do not have openings. Similarly, you can get hired in booming industries and geographical areas even if there are no openings, simply by showing up. Apply to growing companies, even if they do not have open positions.
Two fundamental laws of the universe are that order leads to disorder, and disorder leads to order. Since disorder always leads to order, you must always view disorder as a positive rather than a negative; disorder in your life is an opportunity to reorganize your life and career into something better. Making both order and disorder work for you will enhance your chances of success in career and life.
Think about your ultimate purpose in life, and what you are currently doing to accomplish it. Everyone is gifted with unique talents, and a failure to identify and utilize yours would be tragic for your life and career. The greater purpose you identify in your life, the greater the obstacles you will face. If you persevere and push through these hurdles, you will find the rewards to also be correspondingly greater.
Your perceptions of the world determine your reactions, and your reactions in turn determine your destiny. External factors do not dictate your life and destiny so much as your response to them, which is usually dictates by your emotional state. You must challenge yourself to make the best use of disorder in your life, and use it as a basis to develop a superior kind of order.
Be the person you want to be; if you see yourself naturally going in a certain direction, then you must allow yourself to go that way. Be grateful for every little thing in your life, and you will position yourself to receive more good things. You must hold the correct mindset to achieve a successful life and career; “get your mind right”, look at the world differently, and get away from your established ways of doing things.
There are two kinds of people; value creators and value extractors. Your career success will largely depend on your skill at either of these two things. Value extractors prefer an environment where value is already being created, while value creators look for areas of maximum opportunity. While value extractors seek stable careers, value creators seek to build up organizations rather than work within them. You need to decide if you are a value creator or extractor, commit to one or the other, and never look back.
It is important to have high standards. For the most part, life will pay any price you ask of it. The people who achieve the most in the world have incredibly high standards. It is like this with businesses as well. A great piece of machinery, or a great service, is like this because of the standards that are followed.
Rely on facts and statistics rather than opinions; when you depend on mere opinions, you inevitably face disastrous consequences. You must understand the difference between facts and opinions, analyze both, and adopt the former while disregarding the latter to make productive decisions.
Your skills and abilities merit profound appreciation; you must therefore place yourself in an environment where you will be so appreciated, and not subject to the negative opinions of others. People tend to believe the negative information that they hear about themselves. A work situation where you are unappreciated will tax your two greatest assets, your self-worth and your sanity.
Related Posts:
Harrison Barnes:
Getting Ahead:
The Role of Jobs in Today's World:
Career Advice:
© 2025 Harrisonbarnes All Rights Reserved
hey mr. barnes
i just wanted to say that i enjoyed reading your article and it put a lot of things in perspective for me, also i wanted to share some of my thoughts with you
i think part of the problem is that not only should we not measure ourselves against perfection, but to also understand that perfection is by and large an illusion. tony robbins child came out of that school believing his own father to be somehow inferior, believing himself to be inferior
but those are really illusory because the people who are in that private school are just thinking with dogma, not real critical thinking. their parents success is handed down to them and they just assume that its because their parents had the right idea about how to live life that it got them there – or if not their parents their ancestors; but you get my drift
but this is just dogmatic thinking because the world is in a constant state of flux and todays solutions are definitely not tomorrows solutions. after all, old money was at one time new money; and old money basically does itself a disservice by unintentionally alienating so many obviously talented individuals who all require a feeling of respect and dignity and without a doubt, they have something to contribute to our collective humanity.
and its also telling how fallible people “at the top” are; i think doing our own personal best and challenging our own limits, and expecting mutual respect from the people above us and giving a hand to the people below us – this is the only way to go about making our collective existence meaningful in any way.
anyway, i really enjoyed reading your article and wish you the best.
I love this. The youth of today are so troubled because their idea of success and happiness is warped. This is the same message I strive to impress on my family and friends.
I enjoyed reading this article and it put a lot of things in perspective for me, I also want to share with some of my friends.
Great article written by Harrison Barnes. Its nice to hear that these points resonate with people and the nuanced reminder is always wonderful. I am sending this article who is having difficulty now with substance abuse, hopefully it will help her perception.
From this article we can learn that if you compare your happiness
then nyou woll not get happiness in your life so please think happy , live happy.Bravo to harrison Barnes.
Your article entitled “Never Measure Yourself against Perfection” was wonerful, it’s the most constructive thing I’ve read in a long time and I want to thank you for writing it.
Sincerely,
Pamela Slater
Great article written by Harrison Barnes.From this article we can learn that if you compare your happiness
then you will not get happiness in your life so please think happy , live happy.The youth of today are so troubled because their idea of success and happiness is warped.
Harrison Barnes web site is very popular for job search advice. Harrison Barnes site like a career advice web site. This web site is providing career advice to choose their expected jobs for their life. Harrison believes that the best stories typically revolve around the employee being very motivated to do a good job and continually wanting to improve in his or her employment. If some people are living in poverty and alone, spend some time with them and you will understand why they are in their situation.
A Harrison Barnes Employment Crossing believes that the best stories typically revolve around the employee being very motivated to do a good job and continually wanting to improve in his or her employment. Harrison Barnes did not gain this reputation overnight. He has worked for it tirelessly for years. In the process he has also benefited himself and tens of thousands of job seekers spread all across the globe. This website is giving the people advice. A website is advice is law related jobs.
From this article we can learn that if you compare your happiness
then nyou woll not get happiness in your life so please think happy , live happy.He walks his talk and has promoted many job search sites which are very effective and have gained leading position all over the world. Harrison Barnes advice people, is the best way to find a job is to apply to every job opportunity for which you are qualified—and even some you may not be. You also need to know about everything that is going on in the market and all the jobs there are. The more jobs you know about the better off you will do.
Harrison Barnes Reviews is the best way to find new jobs. Harrison Barnes web site is very popular for job search advice. Harrison Barnes site like a career advice web site. This web site is providing career advice to choose their expected jobs for their life. Harrison believes that the best stories typically revolve around the employee being very motivated to do a good job and continually wanting to improve in his or her employment.
I am so glad that I subscribed to this blog and I thank you Harrison for really reinforcing the fact that perfection is an illusion. I’m almost 30 years old, and growing up I had an innate drive to be the best at everything, which ultimately made me a very depressed, and even suicidal, teenager and young adult. I made very good grades and got into college on scholarship, but I was never happy with myself, because I was never good enough. After making it into a study abroad program at 22, I finally began to come into my own and see myself in a different light, however I am just now overcoming the illusion of perfectionism and realizing that I’m an intelligent person, I am talented, I am attractive, I am ambitious and most importantly, I am worthy of happiness in spite of everything I see and hear around me. No one can limit my success in life but me.
This is a Great article .From this article we can learn that if you compare your happiness then you will not get happiness in your life so please think happy , live simple and happy.
Pursuit of perfection is endless like chasing a mirage. It fetches disappointment and unhappiness sooner or later. Instead, one should set his own pace in life based on the parameters of his strengths, weaknesses and natural inclination. This is the way to achieve contentment which is the mantra of happiness in life.
Thank you for this real article.
After read your artcle, relate to life differently. It is a good lesson in many ways.
I remember those and apply what I learned here.
This article is very nice.It tells that goals are absolutely necessary to drive us forward and make us achieve in life.But it instructs that we cannot measure ourselves against others.It is really nice
I enjoyed reading this article.This article gives the information like Use your past as a yardstick, and never use an ideal.This is wonderful idea for getting success in their life.
In this article,the author said that Measure yourself against your own progress in various categories and do not compare yourself to others.
” Forget about others” this is really good.
Your article entitled “Never Measure Yourself against Perfection” was wonerful.It tells that Each new success we achieve are going to give us a greater sense of satisfaction with more positive energy.Thanks for this article
I enjoyed reading this article.It tells that Each new success we achieve are going to give us a greater sense of satisfaction with more positive energy.Thanks for this article. Pursuit of perfection is endless like chasing a mirage.
From this article.most of the youth are fairness..I have read in a long time and I want to thank you for writing it.i really to enjoyed to reading this article…
This is an article worthy for any and every one, particularly in our current society in the US to read. We really need to instill this in our children, and remember it ourselves.
Good pragmatic advice. In our commercially-hyped and celebrity-worshipping youth-obssessed society we all are guilty, from time to time, of failing to discern reality from fiction, and aspirations from attainables.
It often takes acquiring years of experience of living to fully appreciate from where one comes and to where one wants to go.
I hope the recipients of your message pause long enough to understand its importance…
Thank you for this wonderful article. It has really struck a chord with me, as I struggle with many of the same issues every day. I will try to heed your advice!
Very inspiring
A Harrison Barnes is the best site for others websites. This site article is very nice. Most of people like this site. Thank you.
Thank you for helping me to reorient my thinking. I think that most people who have achieved some measure of success compare themselves to others. Our society is geared towards constant competition. Team sports, performance evaluations, constant testing, and the expectations of family drive us to compare ourselves to others. People are not equipped with equal gifts and do not start from positions of equal wealth. Therefore, as you have stated, the true measure of success is how much you have improved upon what you started out with.
we are surounded by heroes and stars, and we are living in lives with hopes and achievements.
If we appreciate everythings with care, we should understand ourselves and care about ourselves.
Excellent article to reflect upon. Thanks
I understand the concept of not looking to outside standards to measure success, but I think that this article goes about it the wrong way by giving examples of people with low expectations having greater happiness. It sounds to me like if in order to be happy that you should not strive for anything great. Most people that have accomplished great things did not do it by having low expectations, especially since so many will tell people that they cannot accomplish something. You can be in great physical condition, you can get top grades. You can become wealthy. You can reach the top of your profession. The people that achieved those goals started some place. This includes people from different backgrounds that found themselves around the so called elite in the article, but instead used it to their advantage to succeed in life without focusing on superficial matters of restaurants and the like which is not exclusive to that class of people. It is just a superficial measurement of material items that happen at all class levels of keeping up with others.
What would be more valuable is to not say to have low expectation but to set steps toward the self defined goals that you have for yourself without focusing on outside mattes material items or status. As a person works towards the goals, success will be achieved and the person will know that they have done everything they can to meet their ultimate goal, which can be adjusted if needed or extended once achieved. To have low expectations is more likely to lead to not achieving things that are actually possible.
PLEASE DO NOT POST MY COMMENT:
Thank you for this very inspirational and encouraging article. You have reaffirmed what I have taught for many years to elementary, middle school, high school and even college students: HAPPINESS IS A DECISION.
Wonderful article!!
Wow, I ready your story. You are a great writer and I think you should write a book about your life.
Thanks for the email
This is such an inspiring message. It has caused me to start writing down realistic goals for my life and stretch goals that I need to strive for down the road.
Please continue to publish this message.
This is a wonderful and inspiring piece. I would add to this, the advice not to look back in disappointment, but to look at the present with energy and the future with hope. In spite of the BCG counselors repeated emails to me that I am outside of their criteria and therefore must pay for my age and experience compensating someone to be my recruiter, I soldier on. At some point, someone will scrutinize my resume and champion me for my flexibility, wisdom, experience, and quality, all at a very reasonable price, with no partnership expectations.
Thank you. I needed that perspective today.
Thank you for the above article. I have been struggling with much of what you write about and have been unable thus far to put my law degree/experience to work in a way that is compatible with my values,with who I am and the simple things I deeply desire for myself and my family.
Awesome! it was my very first time to read such stories… I was really inspired. I came to realize that in this life we must learn to be contented… but remain achieving…
This is a very inspiring article. I needed to read this after the most discouraging week ever. Thank you.
Harrison – Thanks for the insightful article! I could not agree with you more.
Very encouraging story, thank you!
I have truly learned alot from the above articile. Right now I feel like I am stuck in my career. I am continously educating myself but the oppunities are so few. I am unemployed but I am not giving up my education although I sometime think its a waste of time. Thanks again for sending me the story.
Very positive and insightful despite the sad ending.
Hello Sir Barnes,
I always read your articles, but this one is a great lesson according to me. I found out why it’s so necessary to listen to my elders and other people who get knowledge and are wise. The other idea is that in this life every person must remember his past and measure himself while forgetting what others are, do or get. I can add this: in my life I never have measured myself by others or focused myself on what others people do, earn in their job, their homes, and their wealth. All I know is that I need to learn, work, and pray everyday. I also know that I need to be myself everywhere and everytime with everyone, because after all, God is the only Creator.
Have a good weekend!
Thank you! Hope to get more articles from you!
Michael TINE
Good article!
Your goals have to be your own, not those suggested by peers or the media. Even if you manage to reach the expectations of others, the fact it was never your own can only result in disappointment. Sure you get a kick out of doing stuff that takes time and effort but you need to know and identify what you want first before going after it.
I left a career in chemistry to get in to IT for the money. Made plenty of it but the work never gave the the same buzz as my previous occupation. Also I never felt I was achieving anything in IT save help rich corporation make more money.
Do what you do best and do what makes you happy.
I really appreciate this website. It alwahs hits home. My dad is a lawyer. As a child I thought us to be rich…until highschool my parents divorced and my mom got a house on the edge of indian hill a rich community as I caught the bus past mansions and returned home to our shack I began to feel what u descdibed. I am a lawyer graduated cum laude have a llm but I am on welfare lol. I am trying to figure this out.