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A short time ago I was talking with a neighbor of mine about where to send my daughter to school. He was proud to tell me that he was sending his own daughter to a private school, and he said a lot of great things about the institution. Then he said something to me I will never forget:
“People say that the school turns out kids who are just like ‘robots’–each one is the same, but I like that. These kids all study hard and do not use drugs. I’ll take my kid the same as every other kid and serious, rather than the alternative. The kids that come out of there are all perfect.”
This statement disturbed me the more I thought about it. The school my neighbor was talking about requires all of the students to wear the same uniforms all day, and really emphasizes conformity. Based on what my neighbor was saying, he clearly believed it an absolute virtue for his daughter to be a carbon copy of other straight-laced kids.
Many schools and parents stress this idea to children in one form or another. Kids are rewarded in most schools for being consistent and like their peers. The more we are rewarded for certain behaviors, the more we feel loved, and the more we continue to reinforce our own behavior. Through schools, parents, and others around them, children learn what they need to do in order to receive approval and love.
Think about what happens in the typical elementary school when the bell rings. Kids are expected to rush to their desks and sit quietly at attention, with their hands on the desk, ready to work. The modern school bell came about at a time when kids were trained in schools for eventual work in factories. When the factory bell rang, workers were expected to be at attention in front of the machine they were going to operate. Not so incidentally, factory workers were required to namelessly operate machinery, and uniformity was something that the company valued. Today’s schools, in many respects, are a hold over to this time.
When we think of being different many of us think of freaks, punks, stoners, etc. The tension between conformity on the one hand and being different on the other is pervasive in society. In school, the kids who dress differently and look different isolate themselves and become pariahs in many respects. When I was in high school I remember girls who dyed their hair purple, men who pierced their whole face, and others who wore mohawks. The kids who knowingly chose to be different in their appearances did not assimilate well and ultimately found themselves isolated from the other students. Not fitting in, meant they could only associate with others who were like them as well.
But none of us are really just one person.
If you think about your life and who you are, chances are that you are consistently a different person several times throughout the average day, depending on the situations you face. Throughout the average week you are probably even more different people. Throughout a month, a year–even more different people. You are never really the same person. However, the message that society sends to us is that we need to constantly be the same person. If someone is too erratic, and seemingly not the same person consistently enough, we may send him or her to a psychiatrist or other doctor. The person is then prescribed drugs to insure a “level” and consistent personality. Have you ever seen a movie that showed people in a psychiatric hospital? The people are always walking around like zombies because they are drugged to be numb, and to consistently act like the same person.
Two of my favorite movies are One Who Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and Cool Hand Luke. Each of these stories is about the lengths that “the system” will go to in its attempt to make people the same. The first movie takes place in a mental institution and the latter occurs in a prison. Both stories involve men who are accused of relatively unserious crimes, but are put into environments that ultimately end up killing them when they fail to conform. In both cases, the protagonists are kept locked up for much longer than they normally would have been, due to acting out against superiors who are angry that they will not conform.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest is the story of Randall Patrick Murphy (Jack Nicholson), who is sent to a mental institution after being convicted of statutory rape. The entire story deals with the conflict between Murphy and his ward of the institution. Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher) forces the patients of the mental institution into a mind numbing daily routine. McMurphy repeatedly baits Nurse Ratched, at first for amusement, and then later, to loosen her control. He makes numerous efforts to break the monotony in the mental institution and to make it more fun and interesting. For example, he organizes a pickup basketball game and argues with the staff to get the patients the right to watch the World Series on television. McMurphy also helps many of the patients escape the ward to go on a deep sea fishing trip. McMurphy’s antics are met with increasingly more punishment from Ratched, the purpose of which is to force McMurphy to conform. At first he is given shock treatments, and by the end of the movie he has been given a lobotomy, and is left completely comatose. When one of his friends in the hospital, affectionately known as Chief, sees McMurphy’s unresponsive face following the lobotomy, he decides that McMurphy would probably rather be dead than continue living in this state. Shortly thereafter Chief suffocates McMurphy.
In Cool Hand Luke, Luke Jackson (Paul Newman) plays a man in a Florida prison camp who refuses to submit to the system. He has been sent to prison for two years, after cutting the heads off of parking meters while drunk one evening. He is told when he arrives at prison:
You gonna fit in real good, of course, unless you get rabbit in your blood and you decide to take off for home. You give the bonus system time and a set of leg chains to keep you slowed down just a little bit, for your own good, you’ll learn the rules. Now, it’s all up to you. Now I can be a good guy, or I can be one real mean son-of-a-bitch. It’s all up to you.
The environment Luke is placed in, has numerous rules, which immediately clash with his sense of individuality. When he arrives in the bunk house Luke is given a list of rules by a guard named Carr (Clifton James) and he is told that each rule violation will result in a “night in the box”:
Them clothes got laundry numbers on ’em. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends the night in the box. These here spoons, you keep with ya’. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box. There’s no playin’ grab-ass or fightin’ in the building. You got a grudge against another man, you fight him Saturday afternoon. Any man playin’ grab-ass or fightin’ in the building spends a night in the box. First bell is at five minutes of eight…Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends a night in the box. There’s no smokin’ in the prone position in bed. If you smoke, you must have both legs over the side of your bunk. Any man caught smokin’ in the prone position in bed spends the night in the box. You’ll get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top and the top sheet on the bottom. The bottom sheet you turn into the laundry boy. Any man turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one will sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sittin’ on the bunks spends a night in the box. Any man don’t bring back his empty pop bottle spends a night in the box. Any man loud-talkin’ spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me…Any man don’t keep order spends a night in the box.
Luke becomes idolized in the prison for sticking out, refusing to conform to the rules and for his eventual repeated attempts to escape the prison. The problem for Luke though is that he gets repeatedly caught. And each time he is caught, the prison orders him beaten. After one escape attempt the head of the prison chain gang (known at the Captain) tells the prisoners as he belittles Luke: “What we’ve got here is a “failure to communicate”. Some men you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week. Which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don’t like it any more than you men.”
After being brought back from his next to last escape attempt, Luke appears to have been broken by the guards, having been beaten and forced to dig a hole time and time again:
Luke: Don’t hit me anymore…Oh God, I pray to God you don’t hit me anymore. I’ll do anything you say, but I can’t take anymore.
Boss Paul: You got your mind right, Luke?
Luke: Yeah. I got it right. I got it right, boss. (He grips the ankles of the guard)
Boss Paul: Suppose you’s back-slide on us?
Luke: Oh no I won’t. I won’t, boss.
Boss Paul: Suppose you’s to back-sass?
Luke: No I won’t. I won’t. I got my mind right.
Boss Paul: You try to run again, we gonna kill ya.
Luke: I won’t, I won’t, boss.
After this episode Luke is returned to the other prisoners, who turn away from him. The prisoners ignore Luke now because the person that they loved and respected was the one who refused to submit to the system. After appearing to be someone who has completely conformed, Luke decides to make his final escape. He sits in a church and mumbles the following monologue to God, while looking up at the rafters:
Anybody here? Hey, Ol’ Man, You home tonight? Can you spare a minute? It’s about time we had a little talk. I know I’m a pretty evil fella. Killed people in the war and got drunk and chewed up municipal property and the like. I know I got no call to ask for much but even so, you gotta admit, you ain’t dealt me no cards in a long time. It’s beginning to look like you got things fixed so I can’t never win out. Inside, outside, all ’em rules and regulations and bosses. You made me like I am. Just where am I supposed to fit in? Ol’ Man, I gotta tell ya. I started out pretty strong and fast. But it’s beginning to get to me. When does it end? What do ya got in mind for me? What do I do now? All right. All right. (He kneels on his knees and cups his hands in prayer.) On my knees, askin’. (pause) Yeah, that’s what I thought. I guess I’m pretty tough to deal with, huh? A hard case. I guess I gotta find my own way.
When Luke exits the church, he is shot down by the guards, who had had the church surrounded.
If you look outside at nature you will see no straight lines; they do not exist. Instead, everything curves. However, when it comes to our own lives and our expectations for ourselves and others–we often demand straight lines. Straight lines are also demanded of us by our employers and by the world. As One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Cool Hand Luke demonstrate, the failure of people to conform–to fit into the straight line of conformity, often results in the system attempting to conform them.
The concepts of conformity and the expectation of being “perfect” cause us much pain. Most of us beat ourselves up for not being perfect and, as such, continually do not feel as good about ourselves as we should. Perfect is really the lowest standard because it is the hardest to be. True perfection is nearly impossible to achieve. Society and our various institutions all have an “ideal” of what we should all strive to be. In most cases, society’s idea of perfection involves a certain amount of conformity, and it is impossible for most of us to ever completely conform in order to meet this ideal. This need to conform is a source of major problems in most of our lives.
When did you define yourself and decide the sort of person you needed to be? However you defined yourself, there is a good chance that this definition involved not all of your true wants, because you defined yourself in terms of what you believed others would want you to be–i.e., conforming to others expectations. You may be trapped in a need for consistency and an expectation to be a certain type of person.
We all have multiple personalities. However, many of us are extremely unhappy overall because we never allow ourselves to be all of our different personalities–to experience all the possibilities of who we are and how we feel. We are taught that we should be just one person, and we are led to believe that if we are different people then something is wrong with us. We are told that people with different personalities are crazy, so we often rein our personalities in, in order to fit someone else’s vision for how we should be. The problem is that we are all unique; if we try and rein ourselves in and to not be the people we want to be, these innermost feelings are going to manifest somewhere. These expressions of who we are will necessarily come out at one point or another.
Trying to be one personality all the time will make you unhappy. You need to appreciate all the multiple qualities of your personality. They are what make your being unique, and needed on this earth.
The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define and view ourselves. We call the people who are consistent reliable. If someone is inconsistent we call them things like scattered, without integrity and unreliable. In order to survive and to be loved and appreciated, we believe that we need to stay the same at all times.
The wonderful thing about babies is that they exhibit all these multiple facets of personality and are always loved. They are angry, sad, hungry, tired and all sorts of emotions throughout a typical day, yet they remain loved. If a baby is not loved the baby dies.
We too need to be loved in order to live. As we grow we learn the rules of who we need to be in order to survive and be loved and most of these rules involve conformity. The kid who dyes his hair purple in school is suddenly isolated because others will not talk to him. He receives less love and appreciation.
There is tremendous pressure to conform. If you are not working at, or towards a certain profession, if you are not working a middle class job, if you are not doing what is expected of you, you are not conforming. As a result you will be afraid that you might not be loved. And being loved is one of our most powerful basic human needs.
My message for you is very simple: The need to conform may be controlling your life. The need to conform may be controlling your career and the decisions you are making. How long are you going to continue this madness? In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Cool Hand Luke, the characters were in prison and had to conform to what others expected of them. You, however, are not in prison and can choose to be whoever you want to be. Explore and embrace your individuality. It is your strength.
Your career and your life are too short. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you, and worry about what you think about you. Avow to no longer be imprisoned by others’ expectations for you. In order to be happy you need to make sure that you are everything you want to be–your own person. Then, amazingly, love will come to you. In Cool Hand Luke and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, the main characters were loved and respected by their peers because each was his own person. In the real world, we often come to respect and endear people most who have learned to let their originality and true selves flow outward. So do this: Let it flow. Let the world see what you have to offer, and it shall embrace your uniqueness.
THE LESSON
Embrace your individuality, and fight the human instinct for consistency and sameness in your self-image. Appreciate all of your personality’s many facets, as they make you unique and desirable; see your individuality for the strength that it is, and embrace it.
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About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, How to Succeed
Tagged: cool hand luke, cuckoo’s nest, florida prison camp, luke jackson
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In this article Harrison discusses the importance of ‘energy’ over technical skills. When people are hiring you they are purchasing your “energy” more than they are purchasing your technical skills. They are interested in your ability to influence the world around you through your energy. When you are marketing yourself and seeking a job, or working in a job, there are essentially two things you are marketing. You are marketing your technical skills, but more importantly you are marketing an intangible sort of energy. The most successful people have mastered the art of projecting positive energy. The better your energy, the more employable you will be and the farther you will go.
You can never become too comfortable if you wish to be successful. Your success will largely depend on your ability to become dissatisfied with your current position. Successful people are never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly push beyond their comfort zone. When do you this and succeed, you set a new standard for normality in your life. Be continually dissatisfied, and always pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Resourcefulness can make you better at everything you do, and separates the truly extraordinary people from the general herd. Do everything within your power to be resourceful in your job search, life, and career to give yourself the best possible chance of achieving your goals, and learn how to employ the resources currently at your disposal for maximum impact.
The most successful people in the world share the common characteristic of sharing, or concentrating on the value that they give back to others rather than on their own growth and profit. Focusing on yourself never leads to long-term success, but leads instead to unhappiness as well as emotional and financial challenges. Your greatest consideration, therefore, should be how you can contribute to others, and how your actions can impact their lives.
The best way to attain your goal is through small, incremental steps on which you can build. Establish a routine, and make sure you are consistently working towards some kind of goal. Start small, and always build upon what you have done before. Most people fail to achieve their goals because they believe everything should happen quickly and at the same time, instead of progressively building upon their past achievements.
Make sure that you are involved in groups that focus on positive things. Your success in life depends on your ability to focus on the outcomes you want, and the focus of the groups with which you associate will in turn shape your own focus. You must endeavor to always choose groups with a positive focus.
Everything you do is a form of preparation for your job interviews, as you are always under some form of scrutiny. The best employees can always spot other good employees, and you cannot “fake it”; merely doing a good job in your work is a form of interview preparation. Always put your all into your work, therefore, even if you do not have long-term plans to remain at your current employment. Switch jobs as infrequently as possible. The time to prepare for a job search is before you even realize that you need to do so.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
When myriad candidates are applying to limited positions, practicing unusual tactics in your job hunt will prove far more helpful than following the established routine and waiting for positions to come to you. Much like in military strategy, well-planned and unconventional moves can help you conquer your goals without suffering significant losses. You can land an excellent position by focusing on companies’ needs, rather than depending on job and recruiting advertisements.
You can change your life forever by harnessing the power of persistence. Think about the people in your life, and whether they empower you or hinder you in achieving your goals. You must win at all costs, and persist until you succeed.
You need to provide people what they want, otherwise you will not have a job. Although they might not always be the most desirable kinds of jobs, certain jobs always exist because they provide services that people will always require. The only secret to continual employment is to provide a service that people always need; if you do this, and nothing else, you will always find yourself employed. Give people what they want.
Your ability to help people will determine the extent of your success; the more powerful and effective your help, the greater rewards you will receive. One of the rarest and most profound achievements is to follow through on your goals and create a paradigm-shifting idea. The more revolutionary your work, the more people you will affect and the more memorable of a career you will have.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
The ability to fit into your work environment is among the most important parts of obtaining and retaining a job, even more so than your skill level. Fitting in means nothing more than being comfortable in one’s work environment, and making others similarly comfortable. Employers want to hire people who will embrace their approach to business and the world on physical and moral levels, so you must strive to fit in with their worldview.
Focus on what you are doing, not what others around you are doing. There are people to take action towards their goals, and then there people who sit on the sidelines and comment on the first group of people. People who are mostly interested in gossip and watching others usually lack the confidence and determination to take action themselves. The most successful people go account and accomplish things rather than sit back and watch others make things happen.
In this article, Harrison advises you to live the lives you wish to have, do the jobs you want to do, and basically live your dreams to your best possible ability. Life is fleeting and no one knows what tomorrow holds. So Harrison puts forward certain questions – when are you going to start living the life you want and when are you going to take charge of your life. The time to have the career you want is right now, not tomorrow, and not later. You need to take charge of your career and life and no one else is going to do it for you. Your entire life and the quality of it is a product of your decisions. You can have, do, or be anything you want. Do not create alibis for making comprises in life. What separates the best and the happiest people is the ability to stop to making excuses and Harrison wants you to be this person.
Anyone can be up when things are going well, but the real challenge comes when things are not. Do not look at problems, which are inevitable for any person or business, in a negative light; think of them instead as challenges, lessons, or opportunities. There is a silver lining to be found in every problem, and finding that silver lining will enable you to grow.
Understanding what you do for a living is very important for your career. You should understand the generality of your specific profession. You and your career are a product. You need to know where and how to market yourself in the best way possible. You need to be relevant and understand the skills you are offering. Being a relevant product is essential for your success. It’s easy to be relevant when you understand what you are doing and what purpose you serve. Being relevant is more than just getting a job. Being relevant also relates to serving the employers with the skills they need. You need to understand your market and what your customers want. This is the way to stay employed, and it is also the means to continual improvement.
Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
Determine whether you are a global or specific person. Most people are either too general or too specific in the way they treat information, and overly detail-oriented people risk losing sight of the bigger picture. General people are more comfortable in managerial positions, while detail-oriented people prefer everything to conform to a logical sequence. Understand which sort of person you are, and seek work that best harnesses your natural inclination.
In this article Harrison talks about releasing the lack that you feel, in order to reach your full potential. If a sense of lack dominates your thinking, it will affect your interaction with the world and how the world sees you. There are many areas of your life where you are coming from a position of lack. Your ability to release this lack and go forward with your life can create a tremendous sense of peace and more natural accomplishments in your world. The amount of lack that people see out there is profound and it has a massive impact on their lives. According to Harrison, the most successful people in the world see the world as a place of opportunity and not lack.
When faced with difficult times, you must develop the ability to transcend the trouble around you instead of giving up or assuming that nothing can be done about your situation. Keep your wits about you and take charge of the situation, and you will find yourself on track for constant improvement and career success.
It is extremely important that you enjoy your job. Most people find themselves in jobs that they resent, and eventually make this resentment known by appearing disinterested and distracted. Success comes from being engaged in and grateful for your work. You can define your job according to your own vision; you can either choose to engage with your work, or avoid and despise what you do. People recognize and appreciate those who are enthusiastic about their work.
Your résumé is an extremely important document. There are entire books written about how to craft them. I have written at least one myself. There are scores of résumé consultants, companies, and others that will work on your résumé for a fee. Hiring one of these services can be useful and can improve your résumé. Nevertheless, most résumés can improve dramatically by following the below advice.
In this article Harrison explains how you can do better in your career by selling. The most successful people are absolute masters at sales. Selling is among the most important career skills you can have. When you know how to sell something you can do exceptionally well wherever you go. Knowing how to sell something is a key to survival, advancement, fame, and fortune. Everything we do is about making a sale. Selling yourself is about showing others the value you can bring them. So package yourself to the best of your ability, always be at your best and sell yourself. Develop your sales skills and do not be afraid to sell anything. Whatever your goal in life, becoming an effective salesman will help you achieve it.
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“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
Harvey Fierstein
This is the essence of individual dignity.
That was a great article. I couldn’t agree more on the selection. My son is Lucas after the character in CHL.
Luke’s rendition of “Plastic Jesus” was also great.
Fight Club, while gritty, is essentially the same genre.
Let Me just say that i LOVE this page! Being only 17, i have never really fit in with the rest of my peers. And I used to struggle with keeping sane early in my high school career. I would have to talk to the school’s psychologist about not being loved or recognized for any of my acheivements. Though I have found someone who really cares for me and she is the most wonderful girl in the entire world, now I don’t worry about being loved and I devote a lot more time to persueding my friends to break away from the conformity, be yourself! School today is all about making the perfect citizen and when i look around my school, everyone seems to be doing the same thing and thinking the same way. They dress with the same clothes, talk about the same tv shows, listen to the exact same music! It really bugs me that everyone is fake, though im sure that there are some people out there who actually do that stuff but most of them just want to be accepted by their friends and society. Now as a senior talking with other seniors and juniors about college, the conformity really shows. All anyone is concerned about is what looks good on college applications and getting accepted into college. They join National Honors Society, join sports teams and clubs and are in the musical and most of them tell me that they don’t enjoy it but it looks good to be involoved. Little do they know that statistics show most of them will not finish college and they spent all this time becoming someone who they werent. For me, I just live my life day to day– I go to school to become more knowlegable and entertain my brain then i go to work because i am from a poor family living i have to pay for my own way on anything past needs, and i also am assistant captain of my hockey team, i love just being apart of something simple and being a leader, showing people the way and leading them into a better life. Like Luke, from Cool Hand Luke, said: “I never planned nothing in my life”, and thats what i respect about him. Just go with the flow, things will work out for you as long as you are willing to put a little effort and passion into what you do. This means that you have to enjoy what you do which means being yourself and not what mommy and daddy think you should be! I could care less if my parents want me to be a doctor or a lawyer or some rich businessman, I enjoy physics and engineering because i always want to know “why” and learn as much as i can, its very entertaining to me. If you become something you don’t want to be then life becomes a chore and no matter how much money you make you wont be happy and your children are going to ride off your accomplishments and become the exact same way you are. I’m sorry i got a little into this notion of resisting the conformity, but i really enjoyed reading your article and im glad that some adults out there understand us children who may not always fit in, but respect us and our individuality. Great Post! Thanks alot!