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A few years ago I made friends with a guy I met at a self-improvement seminar. It was his second time attending the seminar; apparently he had gotten incredible results the first time around.
According to this man, he had lost fifty pounds, had given up drinking and drugs, was cured of his ADD, stopped working fourteen hours a day every day of the week, started exercising daily, dramatically improved his marriage and family life, and started a successful new career–all after attending the seminar. He credited this massive and profound life turnaround to going to the seminar. In fact, he had gone from a relatively depressed and financially non-notable life before attending the seminar, to a new life making more than $2 million a year, working only a few days a week. He had even turned somewhat religious and started playing the guitar for children at services once a week.
As I learned, the big take-away this man had gotten from the seminar was that it had enabled him to make such a significant life shift. I was pretty amazed. In all honesty, to me the seminar we attended had not been that special. It was all about getting in touch with your feelings; however, it was certainly not the sort of thing that would have led me to make massive changes in my life.
I was intrigued by all of this because this guy was not anything like the person he described himself to have been before he attended his first seminar. It was hard to imagine. For example, the friend I knew was on a calorie-restricted diet and generally seemed to be a happy person in all respects. He seemed very well balanced. Since he was so successful, I was interested in learning his success secrets so that I could share them with other people.
“What has made you so happy and successful? What was it you got out of the seminar that made everything change for you?” I asked him one evening.
We were in New York in the basement of the Time Warner Building, in a small Whole Foods shop that sold gifts made from hemp. It was a Thursday evening and my friend was chatting with the cashier in the store while he looked for presents for his kids. Everywhere this guy went, people seemed to pick up his happy energy and return his smile. We might be walking through a hotel and he would stop and start chatting with a complete stranger about this or that. He was always chatting with strangers in hotels and different places. People just gravitated toward this guy, and he was genuinely happy to see just about anyone.
“The only thing I do differently now that I did not do before when I was so unhappy is make sure I associate with positive people. That’s it. Just associate with positive people.”
At the time I did not think much of it, but I have come to realize more and more that associating with positive people is among the most important things we can do in our lives. As long as you share the energy of positive actions and thoughts, and surround yourself with people who have a positive energy, there are few limits to what you can accomplish in your life. Your attitude–how you feel about your life–is among the most important concepts governing your existence on this earth. The more positive your attitude is, the better off you will be in your career and in your life.
When you surround yourself with people who are happy, driven, and well balanced, you too are more likely to become happy, driven, and well balanced. In addition, these people will not drain energy from you and you will feel better when you are around them.
I remember the time when I had my first legal job and was working over the summer for the U.S. Department of Justice in Washington, DC. I was enjoying the job a great deal and having a wonderful summer. I had friends in Washington, DC, at the time and my friends were all pretty positive and nice people who were excited about the future. I had been working there a few weeks when one day I decided to make a telephone call to a friend in another city. I had this acquaintance who was always very down and complaining about one thing or another. The person would use drugs often and always seemed to be going through one personal crisis or another. I never realized how toxic this person was; however, when I called home everything hit me:
I could go into further detail but, it should suffice to say, I had not realized how negative this person was, or made me feel, until I put down the phone. When I put down the phone, all the enthusiasm I had for my work–as good as I felt about myself, my job, and everything else in the world that I was excited about–seemed to suddenly fade into the background. I felt a deep sense of lack and sadness in my soul. It was a feeling I will never forget because it was like running into a brick wall. It took me hours to overcome it and to feel better about myself. The entire experience was depressing in a monumental way.
The reason this experience was so depressing, I think, was that it contrasted with how I had been feeling at the present time and over the previous few weeks. I had been away from this person for some time and had never realized before how negatively he had been affecting me day-to-day. My conversation with the person was really no different from the conversations I had with him in the past–it was only the contrast that made it so glaringly different this time. A short time later I decided that it was not in my best interest to remain friends with this person, and I am sure I was better off for it.
I am sure you have had similar experiences as well:
Moods are contagious and they can often instantly affect us in a positive or a negative way.
When I was in my first year of high school, I was a competitive tennis player. I would play tennis against pros and other very good players. While I was nowhere near as good a tennis player as a professional, I would always make for a challenging match against my opponent, and we would have long volleys and somewhat competitive games. I always felt I was playing much better tennis when I played with the best players than when I would play against average or poor players. When I played against average or poor players I would find myself moving more slowly, hitting more balls out of bounds, missing more serves, and not having as much fun. The poor players I played against often destabilized my game. I would hit ridiculous and stupid shots where the ball would fly from the tennis court into the road and hit cars, for example. It was embarrassing.
The company you keep can either make you rise or bring you down. One of my favorite quotes is from John Steinbeck, who wrote: “A sad soul can kill you far quicker than a germ.”
Do you associate with people who improve your game? Or do you surround yourself with people who destabilize your career and life?
Whom you call your friends and acquaintances tells a lot about who you are. In order to be happy and successful, it is important to surround yourself with other people who are happy and successful. You need to be very careful in terms of whom you let into your sphere of influence. Positive energy spreads quickly–just as negative energy does.
One of the greatest characteristics I have found in the best legal recruiters I have worked with is the ability to be continually positive. Over the years I have hired and worked with a large number of legal recruiters in our company, and one of my greatest concerns has always been making sure I have positive people working for us. I would rather have 10 positive recruiters working in our company than 100 negative recruiters–even if the total financial cost were the same. Negative people infect others and bring an entire group down.
One of my favorite movies is 300, which is about a group of 300 Spartans who fight against thousands of Persians. The Spartans have an incredible positive spirit that empowers them to do well. It is a great movie because it shows what a small group with the right mind-set can do against a much larger force. I believe the Spartans’ strength in the film comes from their ability to remain positive.
Have you ever attended a meeting in which there is someone throwing out a long diatribe of doubts and fears about this or that? People like this typically drag down the whole group and make things extremely difficult for everyone. It is hard for groups of people to get motivated when there is even one extremely negative person in their midst.
Your life is valuable and your time is as well. It is challenging enough to remain positive and continually enjoy our lives, while feeling good about ourselves. The last thing you need in your career is to deal with another person’s constant negativity.
Your career and life will change for the better when you learn to surround yourself with positive people–and keep the negative ones away.
Read More About If You Spend Time With Negative People, Your Organization Will Assume that You too Have a Negative Attitude and it Will Hurt You:
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Life Lessons, Staying Positive
Tagged: career advice, career advice | a harrison barnes, how to find a job, job market, job search, job seeker, legal recruiter, new job opportunities, positive attitude, positive energy, positive people, potential employer
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Do not be distracted by your insecurities and doubts, or you will never achieve success because you will not allow it to happen. Focus only on the message about your skills and capabilities. Identify your goals and create a gameplan, and fill your mind with positive and hopeful messages that will drive you towards said goal.
In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
In this article Harrison discusses how people who stand for something always do better than those who do not. Companies who stand for something always do better than companies who do not. The most successful companies not only stand for something, but they are completely consistent with their core principles. This is what keeps them going and this is what makes them successful. One of the largest problems that people have in their careers is when they diverge from what they are good at. When you do not stand for something, you divert from your true strength. Everything begins to crumble and slowly fall apart when you are not doing something that you are really good at. The biggest success comes when you stand for something and are good at it.
Companies necessarily seek to employ positive, forward-minded people. A firm’s success depends on their employees, and they seek people who will enhance them rather than merely contribute to the bottom line. People with positive natures, who contribute to a healthy social environment, prove essential to the growth and success of their employers.
In this article Harrison discusses that the meaning you give to things will control the quality of your life. How we feel about ourselves is all due to what we tell ourselves certain things will mean. The meaning you give things is crucial for your career success. You need to choose meanings that make you stronger. You need to ensure you interpret things in a way that serves you and does not hurt you. You need to reach your full potential. Don’t classify yourself as someone who is not fit to succeed at the level at which you’re capable. You need to take charge of your mind to have the career and the life that you deserve.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of ‘energy’ over technical skills. When people are hiring you they are purchasing your “energy” more than they are purchasing your technical skills. They are interested in your ability to influence the world around you through your energy. When you are marketing yourself and seeking a job, or working in a job, there are essentially two things you are marketing. You are marketing your technical skills, but more importantly you are marketing an intangible sort of energy. The most successful people have mastered the art of projecting positive energy. The better your energy, the more employable you will be and the farther you will go.
You can never become too comfortable if you wish to be successful. Your success will largely depend on your ability to become dissatisfied with your current position. Successful people are never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly push beyond their comfort zone. When do you this and succeed, you set a new standard for normality in your life. Be continually dissatisfied, and always pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Resourcefulness can make you better at everything you do, and separates the truly extraordinary people from the general herd. Do everything within your power to be resourceful in your job search, life, and career to give yourself the best possible chance of achieving your goals, and learn how to employ the resources currently at your disposal for maximum impact.
The most successful people in the world share the common characteristic of sharing, or concentrating on the value that they give back to others rather than on their own growth and profit. Focusing on yourself never leads to long-term success, but leads instead to unhappiness as well as emotional and financial challenges. Your greatest consideration, therefore, should be how you can contribute to others, and how your actions can impact their lives.
The best way to attain your goal is through small, incremental steps on which you can build. Establish a routine, and make sure you are consistently working towards some kind of goal. Start small, and always build upon what you have done before. Most people fail to achieve their goals because they believe everything should happen quickly and at the same time, instead of progressively building upon their past achievements.
Make sure that you are involved in groups that focus on positive things. Your success in life depends on your ability to focus on the outcomes you want, and the focus of the groups with which you associate will in turn shape your own focus. You must endeavor to always choose groups with a positive focus.
Everything you do is a form of preparation for your job interviews, as you are always under some form of scrutiny. The best employees can always spot other good employees, and you cannot “fake it”; merely doing a good job in your work is a form of interview preparation. Always put your all into your work, therefore, even if you do not have long-term plans to remain at your current employment. Switch jobs as infrequently as possible. The time to prepare for a job search is before you even realize that you need to do so.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
When myriad candidates are applying to limited positions, practicing unusual tactics in your job hunt will prove far more helpful than following the established routine and waiting for positions to come to you. Much like in military strategy, well-planned and unconventional moves can help you conquer your goals without suffering significant losses. You can land an excellent position by focusing on companies’ needs, rather than depending on job and recruiting advertisements.
You can change your life forever by harnessing the power of persistence. Think about the people in your life, and whether they empower you or hinder you in achieving your goals. You must win at all costs, and persist until you succeed.
You need to provide people what they want, otherwise you will not have a job. Although they might not always be the most desirable kinds of jobs, certain jobs always exist because they provide services that people will always require. The only secret to continual employment is to provide a service that people always need; if you do this, and nothing else, you will always find yourself employed. Give people what they want.
Your ability to help people will determine the extent of your success; the more powerful and effective your help, the greater rewards you will receive. One of the rarest and most profound achievements is to follow through on your goals and create a paradigm-shifting idea. The more revolutionary your work, the more people you will affect and the more memorable of a career you will have.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
The ability to fit into your work environment is among the most important parts of obtaining and retaining a job, even more so than your skill level. Fitting in means nothing more than being comfortable in one’s work environment, and making others similarly comfortable. Employers want to hire people who will embrace their approach to business and the world on physical and moral levels, so you must strive to fit in with their worldview.
Focus on what you are doing, not what others around you are doing. There are people to take action towards their goals, and then there people who sit on the sidelines and comment on the first group of people. People who are mostly interested in gossip and watching others usually lack the confidence and determination to take action themselves. The most successful people go account and accomplish things rather than sit back and watch others make things happen.
In this article, Harrison advises you to live the lives you wish to have, do the jobs you want to do, and basically live your dreams to your best possible ability. Life is fleeting and no one knows what tomorrow holds. So Harrison puts forward certain questions – when are you going to start living the life you want and when are you going to take charge of your life. The time to have the career you want is right now, not tomorrow, and not later. You need to take charge of your career and life and no one else is going to do it for you. Your entire life and the quality of it is a product of your decisions. You can have, do, or be anything you want. Do not create alibis for making comprises in life. What separates the best and the happiest people is the ability to stop to making excuses and Harrison wants you to be this person.
Anyone can be up when things are going well, but the real challenge comes when things are not. Do not look at problems, which are inevitable for any person or business, in a negative light; think of them instead as challenges, lessons, or opportunities. There is a silver lining to be found in every problem, and finding that silver lining will enable you to grow.
Understanding what you do for a living is very important for your career. You should understand the generality of your specific profession. You and your career are a product. You need to know where and how to market yourself in the best way possible. You need to be relevant and understand the skills you are offering. Being a relevant product is essential for your success. It’s easy to be relevant when you understand what you are doing and what purpose you serve. Being relevant is more than just getting a job. Being relevant also relates to serving the employers with the skills they need. You need to understand your market and what your customers want. This is the way to stay employed, and it is also the means to continual improvement.
Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
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The above said is the important thing in the life to be a successful man in the world, it creates confidence to make lot things in mind and so it may be the best idea to achieve a lot.
Hey , thanks for sending me your blog, it made me smile and realize some of the things my mama told me growing up really do work. I have always been of the mind set to surround yourself with positive people and people who knew more than you. It made me a stronger, intelligent and not afraid to take risks.
I like your article so much it’s very enlightening ..that is so true we attract good things if we are surrounded by good company so to get ahead of life we must choose the company we should keep
I totally agree with your article, very well written. These days, when everything seems to go down it’s important to have positive people around you to cheer you up and give you the energy you need to move on.
Thanks! You are sooooo right. I enjoyed your article.
I’m not a fair-weathered friend. Everyone in life has problems. If you are only friends with perfect people, you would have no friends. However, I do avoid jealous, bitter or enraged people who deliberately hurt others in a direct or even subtle manner. If that’s what is meant by negative people, I agree. However, if a true friend is going through problems, it is my job to help my friend overcome any problems. I don’t dump my friends who are less successful. That’s elitist. Someone dumped me because she thought she was better than me and ran off with shallow friends I introduced her to. I later married and made better friends. Now she is stuck without any friends and unmarried with a boyfriend who will never commit to her.
Economics doesnt quite work the way some are implying here.
Fell out of bed feeling down. This has brieghtned my day!
Great article, great advice ~ if the company you keep is bringing you down, remove negativity and those who pull you down with it!
I’m a firm believer that feelings are contagious. I’ve been suffering fr4om depression for years and i’ve seen that when i’m around others that have a positive outlook on life and smile and are friendly it tends to make me feel alot better . And when i focuss my attention on a good positive book or log in to a website with positive material it tends to make me feel alot beeter as well .I hope i can be a positive influence on someone as myself in the future
Well said Harrison! I facilitate a course called Adventures in Attitudes, which has been around for over fifty years, with over 4 million attendees. Everything you stated in your article is 100% true. In fact, I now limit my “News” intake to maintain positivity. Attendees at the workshop discover just how much they have been affected by bad news and negativity, and resolve to change what they take in on a daily basis. So while we can’t always avoid negative people and news, we can maintain our vigilance once we are aware of the effect it can have on us. Thank you for making people aware!
The said massage is excellent to understand the positive and negative energy in humang being. We are surrounded by by both energies in our life . We menifest in our life mix performance . If we are achieving something it is happens due o positive power wothin ourself. When we loose somethin means negative power is being menifested as a result.
Prashant Singh
The power of positive thinking and influence can never be over emphasized. Think “positive” and “positive” will come to you or think “negative” and “negative” will come to you seem to be 2 extremes of choices that life offers to mankind. The way we think and feel often times affects and shapes the who we become and in this regard, I personally try to think, stay and associate with positive people and I may not mention that is works or not but it just feels better for me.
This is so true. Keep surrounding yourself with those who are happy and you cannot be anything but happy.
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