Advancement
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When I was around 14 years old, I moved out of my mother’s house and in with my father, his new wife, and her daughter in a different part of town. I would stay there for a few months, attend a different school, then move to Bangkok, Thailand, and attend school there.
At this new school, immediately I learned that one of the most popular girls in the school liked me a lot. She started calling me and having her friends invite me to parties. She would come over with various gorgeous friends to watch television at my house and invite me to go shopping with her on the weekends. I was very flattered and really enjoyed the attention. The only problem was I did not really like this popular girl. She was actually quite vicious and boys in the school were not too crazy about her either. She had become very popular by being extremely calculating politically and was gifted at forming cliques and playing people off one another. To this day, I am confident she is probably the head of the social pecking order wherever she is. Because this girl liked me so much, I suddenly found myself socializing with kids who were a couple of years older than I was. Additionally, everyone seemed to be extremely interested in being my friend.
One day after school I was hanging out with a group of three of the most attractive girls in our class. The girl that was so enamored with me was not there. We were all sitting around one of their bedrooms playing cards. I started talking to one of the girls and we really got along quite well. We were interested in the same things and, to make a long story short, I really liked this girl and she liked me. I invited her over for dinner and we spoke on the phone late into the evening that night.
Things were normal at school the next day (a Friday), but by Sunday I realized not only my admirer but the new girl I had met were not taking or returning my calls. By Monday my “girlfriend” had not only stopped talking to me completely, but she had employed various “goons” around the school to help express her displeasure; they would bump into me in the halls a little too aggressively. I had a few very uncomfortable moments in places like the lunch room where I walked up to groups of people and they dispersed. These were people who had been my friends only a day or so previously.
While I was only attending that school for a short time, I made perhaps the biggest mistake I could have made: I gave up and started feeling bad about the whole thing. Although I had not really done anything all that bad, I felt as if I had really let my “girlfriend” down by socializing with another girl. In terms of responding, my “girlfriend” knew what to do. She proceeded to have her friends and others stop talking to me. In addition, she let her wrath show in other ways that were immature but served a purpose in terms of getting me down. One thing I remember was a prank phone call where she and a bunch of girls (I think, at least) were screaming in the background they hated me.
While I should have reacted in an equally savage way, my reaction was to withdraw. I knew I would only be at the school a short while longer and so I decided to feel depressed about the whole thing. I allowed this to affect:
-My grades
-Meeting new people
-Where I sat at lunch each day
-How I walked from class to class each day
-My social aspirations at the school
-My extracurricular aspirations at the school
In fact, this one little episode was something that really sent me into a serious downward spiral. It was a particularly bad episode because I did not know anyone at the school and once this girl enacted her vengeance I felt defeated. The truth, of course, was I overreacted and it was not that big of a deal. I allowed something quite trivial to really affect me in a negative way.
How many times have you allowed something quite trivial to affect you in a negative way? In your career, have you ever overreacted to an insult? If you were fired from a job, did you get depressed and withdraw? If you searched for a job for a long time with no success, did you let your failure to find the ideal job get you down?
The following story about Michael Jordan relates his key to success, and the key to doing well in everything. Jordan is widely viewed as the best basketball player of all time, but when he tried out for his high school basketball team, he didn’t make it. His reaction could have been exactly like mine when he failed to make the team. He could have become depressed and stopped socializing with the other high school basketball players. He could have given up on athletics and started doing something else, like spending his time with bad kids. He could have allowed himself to get fat and lazy. There are a multitude of things Jordan could have done when he failed to make the high school basketball team.
Think about your own life. What have you done when you failed at something?
Jordan’s reaction was to fight like hell. He started practicing more. He used his disappointment to propel him toward trying harder and harder and getting better and better. After only two years of college basketball (he made his college team), Jordan became a professional player. The rest is history.
In an interview with Jordan several years ago he was describing the secret to his success. In this interview he said when he is insulted by other people he allows these insults to just “build up,” and then he uses them as “jet fuel” for his next game. Anything bad that happens to him and any slight he receives he uses to make himself better at his game and give him passion.
Think of all of the negative things that have happened to you in your life. Think of all of the negative things that have happened to you in your career. Perhaps you have been fired. Perhaps you have been passed over for a promotion. Perhaps someone does not see or realize a particular skill that you have. Perhaps someone has treated you unfairly. Perhaps someone is treating you unfairly now.
I am sure you are like most of us and bad things have happened to you. Your reaction is the key to whether you succeed or fail.
One of my favorite rock bands is Def Leppard. I liked this band even more when I found out their drummer lost one of his arms in a motorcycle accident and kept drumming. Instead of quitting, the drummer learned to drum with one hand. Imagine the passion this must have taken. Isn’t this a wonderful example of perseverance? The drummer is also probably better known now that he works with one arm than he was when he had two.
You need to use every single negative thing that happens to you as “jet fuel” to drive your dreams and ambitions forward. The worst thing you can do is allow something negative to push you down and keep you down. Make negative things the most positive thing that could have ever happened to you. If many negative things happen you can just keep getting more fuel. Keep storing this fuel up and the world will not know what happened once you start going.
A list of some of Abraham Lincoln’s setbacks is below:
1831 – Lost his job
1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
1833 – Failed in business
1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
1835 – Sweetheart died
1836 – Had nervous breakdown
1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
1846 – Elected to U.S. Congress (success)
1848 – Lost re-nomination
1849 – Rejected for land officer position
1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for vice president
1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1860 – Elected U.S. President (success)
Think about all of Lincoln’s failures. Many people would give up on life after a nervous breakdown. Not Lincoln. The message here is more than just perseverance. The message I want you to understand is you need to use every single negative thing that happens to you as fuel to drive you forward. Get passionate.
The success of most individuals is largely based on how they handle setbacks. Bad things can warp and ruin many peoples’ lives. Some examples are:
-Job loss
-Divorce
-Bad relationships
For many people, a bad experience can become a filter for how they view their lives. They begin having an expectation in the future that other bad things will happen and begin to avoid situations where they believe these bad things will occur. They also often begin associating with others who support them in their negative view of the world. Think about negative groups of people you may know like this. Low achievers avoid situations where there has been some sort of pain before. They allow this pain to continue influencing them. Children often close so many doors in their life by simply avoiding areas where they have been in pain before. Adults do the same thing. Instead, imagine the power you would have if you used something negative to change your life and rechanneled your experiences into something more positive.
Another issue I want to bring up briefly involves finding your “jet fuel.” A huge mistake many people make is not being honest with themselves about the emotions they are actually feeling. Many people who may feel angry, sad, or hurt do not allow themselves to ever experience the pain associated with whatever caused them to feel bad. You need to experience the pain; the pain you feel is actually a very good thing. Experience the pain and then use this pain to fire you up to do better in the future. When you know that you can use negative energy in a positive way you will never have to be fearful of bad experiences because you will know these experiences will ultimately help you and not hurt you.
Never close down. Take punishment and learn from it.
The best lessons we get from life are from the bad things that happen to us. You can do more than learn from negative experiences, you can use them to fire you up.
Think about the power of taking intense negative energy and using this energy positively. This is a massive advantage and something that will help you greatly. If something bad happens, channel this energy into something positive. This will change your life and your career.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
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Tagged: Best Career Advice, career advice | a harrison barnes, career blog, House Speaker, land officer position, negative things, positive energy, State Legislature, Vice President
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Your must always strive to create value for your organization, and your organization must in turn strive to add value to the world. Since value comes from teams of individuals rather than any single person, the best companies strive to maximize their staffs’ efficiency. You must also ensure that your company weeds out the employees who do not create value in favor of those who do, and that you belong to the latter group.
When you try to mask or suppress aspects of your personality, those traits will inevitably come to the fore anyway. You need to develop a comprehensive understanding of yourself, including your darker or deeply buried traits; once you know how your dark side limits and controls you, the better you will do in your life and career. Self-discovery will ultimately lead to inner peace, which in turn will enable you to more fully develop your goals.
The number one thing that makes people fail and not reach their potential is competition. If get into an area where there is not much competition and you genuinely have something to offer, you will succeed. Everyone is successful to the extent they are doing something others around them are not that provides value.
Creating a sense of urgency is one of the most important things you can do in your job search. Understand that your career is itself a commodity and you need to sell yourself, and your salesmanship will determine your career success. Creating a sense of urgency will always help you close your sale.
Companies necessarily seek to employ positive, forward-minded people. A firm’s success depends on their employees, and they seek people who will enhance them rather than merely contribute to the bottom line. People with positive natures, who contribute to a healthy social environment, prove essential to the growth and success of their employers.
You can never become too comfortable if you wish to be successful. Your success will largely depend on your ability to become dissatisfied with your current position. Successful people are never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly push beyond their comfort zone. When do you this and succeed, you set a new standard for normality in your life. Be continually dissatisfied, and always pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Resourcefulness can make you better at everything you do, and separates the truly extraordinary people from the general herd. Do everything within your power to be resourceful in your job search, life, and career to give yourself the best possible chance of achieving your goals, and learn how to employ the resources currently at your disposal for maximum impact.
Adopting a positive attitude will always bring you closer to success, as nobody wants to be associated with a losing side. Everyone wants to associate with and hire winners, and avoids losers. Nothing is more important than maintaining a positive attitude, as many employers hire people based primarily on attitude; with the right attitude, everything else will fall into place. You must look like you are on the winning team, even if times are tough; nobody wants to hire a loser.
You can change your life forever by harnessing the power of persistence. Think about the people in your life, and whether they empower you or hinder you in achieving your goals. You must win at all costs, and persist until you succeed.
You will greatly benefit your career by helping and promoting your company’s expansion. A common belief is that expansion is fundamentally positive, and a lack of expansion is fundamentally negative. You must be on the side of expansion rather than contraction in every area of your life. All employers seek people who will help them expand, and the more your ability to contribute to this expansion will provide you increased job security and a greater likelihood of being hired.
Focus on what you are doing, not what others around you are doing. There are people to take action towards their goals, and then there people who sit on the sidelines and comment on the first group of people. People who are mostly interested in gossip and watching others usually lack the confidence and determination to take action themselves. The most successful people go account and accomplish things rather than sit back and watch others make things happen.
Anyone can be up when things are going well, but the real challenge comes when things are not. Do not look at problems, which are inevitable for any person or business, in a negative light; think of them instead as challenges, lessons, or opportunities. There is a silver lining to be found in every problem, and finding that silver lining will enable you to grow.
It is absolutely vital to be in control of your life and career. When you fail to control your life, someone else will step in to do so and fit your life into their plans. Understand that it is in others’ interests to establish control over your life and work, and instead exert control yourself over your life and the events around you.
In this article Harrison explains how you can do better in your career by selling. The most successful people are absolute masters at sales. Selling is among the most important career skills you can have. When you know how to sell something you can do exceptionally well wherever you go. Knowing how to sell something is a key to survival, advancement, fame, and fortune. Everything we do is about making a sale. Selling yourself is about showing others the value you can bring them. So package yourself to the best of your ability, always be at your best and sell yourself. Develop your sales skills and do not be afraid to sell anything. Whatever your goal in life, becoming an effective salesman will help you achieve it.
Your résumé is an extremely important document. There are entire books written about how to craft them. I have written at least one myself. There are scores of résumé consultants, companies, and others that will work on your résumé for a fee. Hiring one of these services can be useful and can improve your résumé. Nevertheless, most résumés can improve dramatically by following the below advice.
It is extremely important that you enjoy your job. Most people find themselves in jobs that they resent, and eventually make this resentment known by appearing disinterested and distracted. Success comes from being engaged in and grateful for your work. You can define your job according to your own vision; you can either choose to engage with your work, or avoid and despise what you do. People recognize and appreciate those who are enthusiastic about their work.
Do not be a dabbler, or someone who turns away in the face of stress; the secret to long-term happiness is to instead confront and push through these stress factors. Do not be discouraged by difficulties, but find ways to persist and deal with the stress. Confronting problems head-on is the key to improvement, and will take you much further than the dabblers who fail to approach their careers with commitment.
When faced with difficult times, you must develop the ability to transcend the trouble around you instead of giving up or assuming that nothing can be done about your situation. Keep your wits about you and take charge of the situation, and you will find yourself on track for constant improvement and career success.
In this article Harrison talks about releasing the lack that you feel, in order to reach your full potential. If a sense of lack dominates your thinking, it will affect your interaction with the world and how the world sees you. There are many areas of your life where you are coming from a position of lack. Your ability to release this lack and go forward with your life can create a tremendous sense of peace and more natural accomplishments in your world. The amount of lack that people see out there is profound and it has a massive impact on their lives. According to Harrison, the most successful people in the world see the world as a place of opportunity and not lack.
Determine whether you are a global or specific person. Most people are either too general or too specific in the way they treat information, and overly detail-oriented people risk losing sight of the bigger picture. General people are more comfortable in managerial positions, while detail-oriented people prefer everything to conform to a logical sequence. Understand which sort of person you are, and seek work that best harnesses your natural inclination.
Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
You must plant seeds in the minds of others, so that they will be more likely than otherwise to think of you when a future need arises. In planting seeds, you are making people aware of what you have to offer; you must make sure that you are ever present in the minds of your potential employers. Planting seeds is the most effective way to generate top-of-mind awareness, and ensure that the right people remember you at the appropriate time.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
Maintaining a routine in both life and work is important to success. Not only do you need to establish a routine, you must make that routine demanding and push yourself to the limit. Budget a certain amount of time each week for networking, applying to jobs, brushing up your interview skills, and following up with employers. Such consistent effort on a daily basis will make a huge difference to your career success.
You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
To reach the goals to which you aspire, you must compare yourself with people superior to you for motivation. Most people prefer to look at life the way they wish it to be, rather than as it truly is. Move out of your comfort zones and face reality. Don’t seek out or compare yourself with the average people around you, as doing so will only mire you in mediocrity rather than push you forward.
In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
Don’t ever give up, and make the most of the tools at your disposal. Take chances and invest in your best skills, and persist in the face of unfortunate events. Have faith in your considerable work and capabilities, and use them to create value for others.
Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
Having a goal or vision will propel you towards greater career success and happiness. Without a purpose, you will find yourself depressed and ultimately fail to achieve your goals. Do not subscribe to the unrealistic problem that you should never have problems, but instead regard problems as part of your overall growth strategy.
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You’ve got great stories. Thank you for sharing them, they’re really helpful, not just for my law search, but for life and dealing with people.
This could have been stated in two sentences.
Didactic crapulence!
this is simply the best advice I have received. Thanks to you.
Fabulous advice – and absolutely true! Don’t let negative events (or destructive personalities you may encounter) affect your destiny – create your own future!
After reading this I definitely know what I need to do. Thanks Harrison
they are actually feeling. Many people who may feel angry, sad, or hurt do not allow themselves to ever experience the pain associated with whatever caused them to feel bad. You need to experience the pain; the pain you feel is actually a very good thing.Never close down. Take punishment and learn from it.
This is really the best advice to all those who get bogged down in life when something negative comes their way. One should use his negative experiences to fuel his resolve and determination to improve his life.
Thank you for the advise. I followed it, opened new avenues for me and don’t know where to go from here. I worked for quite many years in a paralegal position to find out at the end, that all promises for a better future, probable assignments, potential opportunities, were everything but real. So I said good bye to the firm I worked for, a friend I had known for many years and started my own company, working as a Legal Research Consultant.
I have sent quite a few emails to known companies, never got an answer (I cannot get over the spam barrier), tried to call, cannot seem to be able to find the right person to talk to… What do you suggest I do, from the bottom of the staircase to go up a few steps? All serious advise greatly appreciated. Full of positive energy with nowhere to go.
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