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One of the greatest traps people fall into is believing they are entitled to something based on what they have done in the past, or are capable of doing. An even greater problem is believing you are entitled to something for nothing. Incredible as it may seem, most of the people I have seen in the working world throughout the years have an improper sense of entitlement. Rather than helping you, a sense of entitlement holds you back.
Anyone who believes he or she is entitled to something – a parent, an employer, a union, a government, or anyone else, is offering you a Faustian bargain. By making you dependent upon them, they are exerting control over you and your future. There are people and groups that want you to feel entitled and be dependent on them. This is their way of gaining control over you. This is not what you should want. If you have zero sense of entitlement, you can do whatever you want without help. By realizing you are owed nothing, you will go much farther.
The people who are the happiest, the most successful, and in control of their futures realize they are not entitled to anything. They know what happens to them is up to them, not anyone else. The second you give control to others you become a puppet, not a participant, in your own life. I want you to be someone who makes things happen in your own life, and someone who is in control. You can easily seize control of your career and your own life just by changing how you think.
Several years ago, I was sitting in the Kennedy Airport in New York with a relative. We were in a crowded food court with people sitting on both sides of us. My relative had recently learned he was going to inherit a few hundred thousand dollars, and he was planning on leaving it to me.
“Some day you are going to be very rich,” he said.
The people around us looked at me uncomfortably. I did not know what to say. Rich is relative and this was a great deal of money to me at the time. I was young, 26, I believe, and in that moment a dynamic was forming that I could either act upon or not. I could choose to plan my future around this inheritance, which would probably occur in 30 years or more – or I could choose not to care. If I were to plan my future around this inheritance, I might have been happy knowing I would one day have security. However, I could not allow this prospect to affect the way I lived my life.
While I feel it is somewhat crass to bring this point up, I have seen numerous people shape their lives around their family wealth. Some people I knew in school did not apply themselves because they knew they would inherit money one day. This sort of thinking is insane to me.
Your achievements, life, and income should be the result of what you achieve – not others. You should want to create a life based on how you want it to be, instead of waiting for success to come to you. This is an extremely powerful concept I encourage you to really think about. Understanding this can fundamentally change your career and life.
Following World War II, the United States grew at a rapid pace. During this time, our economy grew and trade prospered, and a massive amount of wealth was created. The money that came into the financial system also fueled a larger government, more union representation, and a giant expansion of the middle class. Fair wages, healthcare, and a certain standard of living became the focus of government and unions.
People began to feel the government and large business organizations could take on all of the problems of the world. People began to look to the government, unions, and others as organizations owing them the lives they wanted. While the idea had been percolating for some time, the notion the government could fix all ills was a centerpiece of Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society social reforms, which he announced during a commencement speech at the University of Michigan in 1964:
“We are going to assemble the best thought and broadest knowledge from all over the world to find these answers. I intend to establish working groups to prepare a series of conferences and meetings–on the cities, on natural beauty, on the quality of education, and on other emerging challenges. From these studies, we will begin to set our course toward the Great Society.”
Some goals of the Great Society social reforms included the elimination of poverty and racial injustice, the creation of major social programs, and spending geared towards deficits in transportation, urban issues, education, medical care, and more. People came to believe the government could fix anything.
Johnson’s Great Society represented nothing less than perfection. People were promised the government would fix whatever perceived wrongs existed in society. This sent the message to most people that someone else was responsible for what happened to them and their lives. The idea was that a society made up of bureaucrats could essentially take care of the people.
What happened, however, was these solutions never fully worked. People felt cheated and angry when certain promises were made by bureaucrats and others were not met. Companies and other large organizations that were unionized crumbled under the weight of their own entitlement programs. As layoffs and other problems began affecting the United States from the 1970s onward, people began to see themselves as victims of society. They became trapped in a cycle of dependence, resentment, and anger.
As we look around at the world today we see everyone blaming others for the issues they face. If people cannot afford their mortgages, they blame the banks and request government aid. If car makers cannot make a profit they request government help. There is a belief, which politicians and others have helped cultivate in this society, that people are not responsible for their own actions and someone else is to blame. No one is responsible for his or her own situation.
Putting the blame on others sets up a vicious cycle of dependence and disappointment. We begin to look for leaders who promise us various entitlements. We elect people based on their promise to redistribute wealth in society because we feel society owes us something. We base our lives on the hope someone else will take care of this. This sort of thinking is exactly what has led to socialism and, ultimately, communism in some countries. Everyone wants something from the government. If we continue to believe the system is unfair and the demands are great enough, communism promises a society in which everyone is rewarded equally by the government.
What you need to do is realize if your life is controlled by others you will be continually disappointed. You need to be in control of what happens to you, and to realize you are in control of your own life. No one else is responsible for you and no one owes you anything. There is nothing worse than living your life under the assumption someone owes you something. You should always consider you owe something to yourself.
If you go into job interviews believing you are owed something, you will probably won’t get hired. Employers want people who want to contribute. If you go into relationships believing you are owed something, you will fail. If you believe your current employer owes you something, this is also likely to create issues for you.
Accept total and complete responsibility for your career and life. You can do this. If you are from the United States you are part of a long line of people who have done this.
At some point in time, your ancestors came to the United States with great ambitions about what they could become and the people they could be. Chances are they came to this country with very little, if any, money and the simple hope they could become successful. Your ancestors knew this country could give them a tremendous amount of opportunity – the ability to work and achieve what they wanted without intervention from the government, class systems, or other societal restraints that keep people down in many other societies throughout the world.
Your ancestors came here because they knew they could do it on their own. They came here because they knew they controlled their own destinies. They came to a country where no one owed them anything. They came knowing they could make their own dreams come true.
Maybe you’ve gotten caught up in believing the government, your employer, or someone else owes you something. I would say you have been assimilated into this culture and country now. Sometime in the near or distant past, however, one of your family members came to this country believing they were owed nothing. They may have even come to escape the same system of frustrated expectations and entitlements you are now experiencing. You need to step back, take control, and realize that you, and only you, are in control of your destiny.
About Harrison Barnes
Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.
About BCG Attorney Search
BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.
Filed Under : Featured, Life Lessons
Tagged: career blog | a harrison barnes, communism, do it yourself, entitlement, expectations, job search, job search advice, sense of entitlement, socialism
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Things will not always go the way that you want them to go, so you must not be discouraged by adversity in your job hunt. When you persist and consistently put forth your best effort, things are much more likely to go in your favor. Also, you must resist others’ efforts to undermine your efforts and potential; focus instead on doing everything in your power to fight on and complete the task at hand.
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In this article Harrison discusses what a good hiring manager should look for. Many people who make hiring decisions really do not know what they are doing. In fact, they often make mistakes when hiring. They put too much emphasis on skills and experience. But the single most important aspect of hiring is evaluating the person’s unique outlook on the world. If the person does not have a positive outlook on the world, he/she will bring down the morale of the other workers. The person will harm the company through the negative outlook. The key to success is having the power to stick it out in jobs and finding happiness wherever you are. Hiring people who do good work and are always able to find happiness should be the number one objective of hiring managers.
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You can better market yourself by taking a stand against something. Peoples’ personal beliefs, including the things with which they do not agree, define who they are as people. Standing against something differentiates you from the crowd; when done in the correct manner, without disrespecting others’ opinions, such a stance can help you land your dream job.
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A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
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Recent immigrants exemplify the benefits of willpower, passion, and excitement in the way that they work so much harder for their goals than the people who have been here for most or all of their lives. Like most Americans, you need to rekindle the spirit of your immigrant ancestors and become hungry for what you want. The entrepreneurial spirit that brought people to America has often faded over time; adopt the fire and work ethic of new immigrants in order to achieve your goals.
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In this article Harrison talks about releasing the lack that you feel, in order to reach your full potential. If a sense of lack dominates your thinking, it will affect your interaction with the world and how the world sees you. There are many areas of your life where you are coming from a position of lack. Your ability to release this lack and go forward with your life can create a tremendous sense of peace and more natural accomplishments in your world. The amount of lack that people see out there is profound and it has a massive impact on their lives. According to Harrison, the most successful people in the world see the world as a place of opportunity and not lack.
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It is extremely important that you enjoy your job. Most people find themselves in jobs that they resent, and eventually make this resentment known by appearing disinterested and distracted. Success comes from being engaged in and grateful for your work. You can define your job according to your own vision; you can either choose to engage with your work, or avoid and despise what you do. People recognize and appreciate those who are enthusiastic about their work.
Your résumé is an extremely important document. There are entire books written about how to craft them. I have written at least one myself. There are scores of résumé consultants, companies, and others that will work on your résumé for a fee. Hiring one of these services can be useful and can improve your résumé. Nevertheless, most résumés can improve dramatically by following the below advice.
In this article Harrison explains how you can do better in your career by selling. The most successful people are absolute masters at sales. Selling is among the most important career skills you can have. When you know how to sell something you can do exceptionally well wherever you go. Knowing how to sell something is a key to survival, advancement, fame, and fortune. Everything we do is about making a sale. Selling yourself is about showing others the value you can bring them. So package yourself to the best of your ability, always be at your best and sell yourself. Develop your sales skills and do not be afraid to sell anything. Whatever your goal in life, becoming an effective salesman will help you achieve it.
It is absolutely vital to be in control of your life and career. When you fail to control your life, someone else will step in to do so and fit your life into their plans. Understand that it is in others’ interests to establish control over your life and work, and instead exert control yourself over your life and the events around you.
Do not be a dabbler, or someone who turns away in the face of stress; the secret to long-term happiness is to instead confront and push through these stress factors. Do not be discouraged by difficulties, but find ways to persist and deal with the stress. Confronting problems head-on is the key to improvement, and will take you much further than the dabblers who fail to approach their careers with commitment.
In this article Harrison discusses how persistent pursuit of something you believe in, against all obstacles, is one of the most important keys to success. So many of us just decide at some point not to push through and not to keep going even when a little bit of extra effort would push us through. The secret to being incredibly good at everything is pushing through and getting better and better when others around you are quitting. Even while hiring, employers want experts and people who are the best at what they are doing–they do not want dabblers. They want to hire the person who is incredibly committed to a job and has persisted against odds in one direction when others have given up.
In this article Harrison suggests that you actually may be safer getting a job without the help of family or friends. It is exceedingly rare that a friend or family member will ever be able to get you a position. They may not even want to help you get a job for various reasons. Their involvement in your job search may actually hurt you. The organization may actually look upon you negatively if you try to use a friend or family member to get a job. So going through a close contact is often counterproductive to your job search. Even if you get a position through a friend or family member, you could harm your relationship with that person in the process. Your friend or family member’s act of kindness may ultimately unbalance your relationship. The risks involved in this kind of job far outweigh the potential rewards.
A powerful sense of self will make all the difference in your life. You must understand that your sense of yourself and your capabilities come from inside of you, not from the external forces that have brought you to your current place in life. What you feel internally might be completely different from what the world is telling you, and you must learn to focus on the former rather than the latter.
In this article, Harrison explains the importance of making an effort in your job which is way above what is expected of you. When you have been given certain responsibilities, it means that someone is dependent on you for certain things. When you fulfill these duties far more efficiently, put in a lot more time and effort, and even stay back on weekends and holidays to complete or do extra work, your employers get the message that you are sharing their burden of pressures with them and begin to place tremendous trust in you. This is what paves the path to your promotion and growth in the company. Harrison believes that you need to develop the correct attitude and possess an extraordinary work ethic to thrive in the job you do.
In this article Harrison discusses how resisting change and not taking necessary and relevant action can be the biggest obstacles to a better career and better life. Resistance is something that prevents most people from ever changing. Resisting change can be highly damaging to your growth in your career and life. Instead of allowing your life to be controlled by external circumstances, choose to take action and bring about a change. Conduct a brutal self analysis if needed, to clear the blocks you have in your mind and to bring about change that is necessary. Most people give up. They do not persist. You need strategies and beliefs that will allow you to persist and persevere, so that you can change. The best strategy is to be focused, and this focus will help you overcome the resistance you face whenever you make an effort to begin changing.
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The past does not dictate the future, so you should not use inductive reasoning to make conclusions about your life or career. Recognize when you are making incorrect conclusions based on past events, and switch to deductive reasoning in which you are not limited by the past. You will find your conclusions to be much more accurate, and you will succeed as a result.
When I was an attorney, I stopped going out to lunch with other attorneys during the day. The reason was not that I was not hungry. Instead, I stopped going out to lunch because just about everyone I worked with would want to dedicate the lunch to a critique—whether it was critiquing our bosses, coworkers, or others. When these people were not being critiqued, the job itself was being critiqued. When the job was not being critiqued, the attorney’s home life was being critiqued.
In this article Harrison discusses the significance of conditioning yourself to develop behaviors that will elevate you in your life. One of the most difficult things for anyone to do is to get leverage over themselves and condition themselves to go in a new direction. Very few people are ever able to make very fundamental transformations in their lives and become someone completely new and completely improved—and stick with it. Major improvements in our lives come only when we condition ourselves over and over again in one direction. You need to get leverage over yourself and condition new habits and behaviors within yourself to make any sort of fundamental and lasting change. The conditioning needs to be part of your lifestyle. You need to condition yourself to adopt new patterns in your life.
Going after companies on an “explosive growth” trend is among the most interesting and beneficial things you can do in your job search, as many such companies will hire you even if they do not have openings. Similarly, you can get hired in booming industries and geographical areas even if there are no openings, simply by showing up. Apply to growing companies, even if they do not have open positions.
Two fundamental laws of the universe are that order leads to disorder, and disorder leads to order. Since disorder always leads to order, you must always view disorder as a positive rather than a negative; disorder in your life is an opportunity to reorganize your life and career into something better. Making both order and disorder work for you will enhance your chances of success in career and life.
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Agree with your points – well said. I would also add however, that we each have responsibilities toward others. Thus, when one makes a promise to another, that promise should be kept.
Reversely, when another makes a promise to you, that other should keep that promise to you.
While I may not be “entitled” to anything from my employer, if the employer agrees in advance to pay me $300,000 a year in salary, I am not going to later accept $50,000 after doing the work and tell myself “I’m responsible” for their dishonesty. I may be responsible on a philosophical basis, since I decided to work there, however my attorneys will secure the remaining $250,000 that I was promised.
Similarly, if I agree to take out a $1,000,000 mortgage from a bank, I can’t just change my mind a few months later and walk away from the house and it’s payments and tell myself “they are responsible for their situation – they never should have trusted me!” That would be absurd (and is illegal.)
Taking responsibility and owning your own condition is a critical life skill – being involved with others who will do the same is the only way it will work. Otherwise, life quickly devolves into a law-of-the-jungle situation where the biggest, baddest, and most devious win all, while the rest suffer.
There has to be a fair balance of interchange between all parties involved for any group situation to prosper. If each individual was wholly responsible, group situations would be far more pleasant.
Make sense?
At first I started to read this article like other article. But when I go though all the way then I have found a wonderful
description why we should take responsibility for ourselves. In a word it is a very helpful article for grown up people. ***
looking for another job now.. this article is just right for me. Amazing article.
I’ve been reading your blog for some time and I must say that this article reflected my current thoughts 100%.
Thanks for the insight.
I agree! The best article you’ve written. It’s too bad that the majority of the people that feel “entitled” will most likely never see this article. The less people have it seems the more they believe someone should give it to them.
I can’t stand when people complain. You have to adjust your thoughts and go for what you want in life.
That addresses several of my concerns actually.